Sunday, September 25, 2011

relief society

Believe it or not, I previously had some fear/anxiety about relief society. (for my friends who are not lds, it is female organization in the church involving kindness, strenghening homes, and service.) a little funny, but I'll have to share that story another time.

Come to find out, I am actually in love with relief society. in all three wards I've been a part of. :) I went in a group of 6 beautiful ladies to the general relief society conference yesterday. Thank you President Uchtdorf for saying exactly what I needed to hear and for just being darling, as usual. I have decided to make each day wonderful and appreciate myself and everyone else because that's how I really want to live my life. Maybe it will help in stress reduction? :)

oh and ps. we may or may not have had a wild night out afterwards. I am currently in possession of a certain picture that may or may not be questionable. but hey, we got our spiritual feeding, and it will last us. :)

oh and ps. this is my best friend collette charles. we're pretty cute together, and we're also sisters by marriage. she inspires me to be a better person constantly and listens to my fears and insane freakouts and offers wonderful advice about life. I love her because we are basically the same person.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

simple pleasures

sometimes when life is going crazy, you just have to take a step back and be grateful for simple things.

this song brings tears to my eyes.
not because I'm in the situation or anything :)
but adele just has so much soul and beauty in her voice.
and the song is just so tragically heartbreaking.
I think every girl who's grown up has felt some kind of pain like this.
please enjoy it :)

this picture makes me so proud of myself
anyone who knows me knows I'm so terrified of getting up in front of a group of people
my voice trembles and my whole body shakes and my brain just goes crazy
out of nowhere I decided to run for class rep in SAC, which is the student government at the College of Nursing.
today, I got up and made a speech with my little poster
without crying.
I didn't win.
but I'm so proud of myself for even trying!

WHAT IS THIS!? who does this girl even think she is?????? haha
this was actually in the middle of my marathon.
the pictures were just posted,
and I thought it was hilarious that I was posing in the middle of my 26.2 miles

this is my favorite thing to be grateful for of all time.

this cute man is the best best man in the whole wide world.
he listens to my fears and devestations
and he works so hard everyday to try to buy me a house,
and he takes me to the temple every week,
and he loves me without limits.

don't we just look like forever?
ps. our one year anniversary is in 23 days.

I can't believe that it's almost been a year!

Saturday, September 10, 2011

before I die, part 1

similar to many of my other deep emotional blogs, I always have difficulty finding where to start.

lately I've been having some trouble with the concept of death. and not finishing some work I feel like I have to do, and the people I leave behind, and the words that I have held back that I wish I didn't. things like such. so a dear friend of my mine gave me some pretty simple advice- get your things done and take control. I really liked that. probably because I'm pretty controlling.

I'm shaking pretty hard right now.

Dear Mom,

I love you.
and I'm sorry that we have a hard time communicating with each other sometimes.
a lot of the times it's my fault.

here's the thing-
I'm mormon.
I was baptized on May 29th, 2010. A lot of people ask me if I got bapitzed for Jeremy. and I understand the question if it's burning in the back of your mind, because we were engaged about a month later and married three months after that. The answer is no. That would have been too easy. Building my own testimony by myself is exactly why I think it's so strong.

It wasn't always easy. There was a lot of doubting actually. The first thing that made sense to me was prayer. and praying will always be the first thing I bear my testimony about to anyone. I love that you can pray to Heavenly Father whenever, whereever, however. and that He always listens. He always comforts and He always answers. He is always there to carry us. He knows us more than you can imagine. I cry everytime someone revelates about how He feels about me.

And the temple is SO beautiful, peaceful, breathtaking, reverent, perfect. I almost can't believe that going there always gives me insight about what I have been praying about. how to live better, love better, be better. I always feel so refreshed and ready to start anew. I always feel so comforted.

There's no way that all these feelings can't be true. You know me. I never cry. about anything. but I cry all the time because the Holy Ghost blesses me. I hope that someday this will make sense to you.

I hope someday the gospel will reach your heart. I hope someday you will feel the holy ghost and it will bring you the same happiness that it fills me with. I hope that someday you get to hear the blessings you receive in the temple. I hope that you believe them.


I have been working up the courage to bear my testimony to my parents. and to anyone really. Being a convert, I know that it's not always comfortable to have someone always intensely pushing the gospel on you and bearing their testimony to you. Sometimes that draws everyone away. and sometimes it saves a life. it's all under Heavenly timing.

If I die before growing a pair and sharing this with my mom, I hope that someone will translate this into Chinese and talk to her for me.

and if nothing changes from there, then I hope that this has somehow directly or indirectly alter someone's life for the better.

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

a note about an inspiring Mrs. Bodtcher

I know a lady
with the biggest heart in the world.
She's the most genuinely kind, sweet, loving person I know.
She's a true advocate for those she loves
and even those she's not the biggest fan of.

She's so good without even trying.
She labors endlessly to make sure everyone is pleased.
She's unconditionally supportive and thoughful.
She's a great teacher and a devoted wife.
She gives to her children (by birth, and by marriage) without hesitation.
She serves the Lord with her strong testimony.
She has the most special touch with children

She inspires me to be a better human being.
She's patient-
so so patient with people and situations that I struggle with.
She's so kind
her laugh makes my days brighter,
her embrace helps when everything feels shot,
her support reassures and empowers me,
her generousity moves me,
her determination is uncomparable.

dear Julie Bodtcher,
Thank you for being such a great example to me.
No words could be enough to express to you how you've change me.
Thank you for your strong testimony,
thank you for raising such an amazing son for me to marry,
thank you for always listening to my despairs,
thank you for understanding and loving me even though it wasn't always easy.
You bring me to tears how much you just give give give.

You are the best mother in law a girl could ask for.
Thank you for welcoming us back with open arms
and being so happy to have us.
Thank you for supporting us when times were really hard.
Thank you for everything you've taught me.
Thank you for taking care of me when I was sick.
Thanks for always doing the right thing.

I love you.