Friday, December 30, 2011

friday, december 30th, 2011 will never repeat itself

which is why I am here to announce that this morning while I was snoozing between 0500 and 0503, I am fairly sure I felt the avocado-sized parasite growing inside me kick twice!! to which I responded by asking in a raised voice, "BABE DID YOU FEEL THAT!?" to my husband who was tightly holding me in bed.

and no he did not.

so I lied (laid?) there, with at least 6 more minutes left to snooze before I had to get up for work and my brain screaming OH MY HECK OH MY HECK OH MY HECK OH MY HECK I JUST FELT MY BABY MOVE! Most moms describe first kicks to be similar to butterflies, popcorn, bubbles, etc.

"but Jeremy! it felt like the elastic bouncing back to my skin when you pull on my pants! but from the inside!! the inside!!"

Jeremy: ...uh huhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..... (okay maybe not the best description I could come up with, but allow me to remind you that it was five'o'clock in the morning!)

I have never felt anything so happy inside of me! It wasn't a gas bubble, it wasn't a normal ache that I had to rub away, it wasn't a tiny stirring I made up it my head. It was two, beautiful, very distinct kicks right in the cener of my abdomen just announcing it's presence.

Yes, today is one of the better days of my life and I just had to share it with you.


Tuesday, December 27, 2011


One thing that I absolutely love is a surprise. I love the idea of going out of your way to plan a surprise and anticipating the surprisee's reaction. I get so excited I can hear my heart pounding in my ears a few seconds before. I'm actually really terrible at surprises, because I can't keep a secret. I love being surprised. I love being in the center of someone's attention (who doesn't?). Nobody knows this better than Jeremy. He goes out of his way to surprise me whenever he can. I get surprise flowers all the time, I got my surprise proposal, I got a surprise wedding band, not to mention every single holiday in the year, Jeremy likes to pull some secret stunt to make me smile.

This year, our big surprise was announcing a new member of our family:

(isn't it just so perfect?)
We found out on our anniversary trip. I had been feeling sick and winded for a couple of weeks. I didn't really think I could be pregnant, but I needed to know for sure. Jeremy and I bought some tests the night of our one year anniversary, but we feel asleep before I took one. I woke up at 4 in the morning and realized that I had to find out.

People say they usually wait a couple minutes before the results show on the window. Mine was up in about 10 seconds: negative sign. what I expected, but still a little disappointing. all of a sudden the vertical line started appearing, and the negative sign was fading. You should have seen my face! haha it was the first time I saw a positive on a pregnancy test. I was so- scared! excited! nervous! surprised!

of course I woke Jeremy up, who was so so estatic. This man was born to be a husband, and maybe even more so, a father. He scooped me up in bed and started tearing up, telling me how excited he was to be a daddy. I couldn't live without this guy. I couldn't live without his support and enthusiasm.

I may or may not have taken 5 additional tests to be sure of this positive. I may or may not have persuaded my sister in law to call planned parenthood using a fake accent to ask if they did confirmation tests. I may or may not have told every stranger I saw that day, much to Jeremy's dismay. I may or may not have told our immediate families and really close friends within a week of finding out. (I told you I was bad a surprises!!)

Here I am, exaggerratingly protruding my belly, trying to convine everyone there's actually something inside! This was taken a couple days after we found out, when I thought that I was already 6 weeks along. When I called to make an appointment with my doctor, I was so surprised that they didn't want to see me until 10 weeks! The next month became a crazy questioning process... am I really pregnant? how do we even know I'm really actually carrying a baby inside of me?

Should I even be taking pictures like this? How disappointed will I be if I'm not really pregnant? Should I take another pregnancy test???!!!! How will the doctor know I'm actually pregnant? Do I get an ultrasound at my first appointment? Why do I have to wait until I'm ten weeks!!! Is my dr. pepper addiction going to affect my child? Do I have to give up everything I love to eat? WHAT am I going to do with nursing school? WHEN am I even due??? Am I really pregnant? ...seriously! I am I just imagining my nausea? am I ready to be a mother? Does Jeremy still think I'm sexy? Should I learn to control my stress levels since I'm growing a baby? Is it okay that I can't keep my mouth shut, and I just keep telling my nursing school friends? Am I giving my baby diabetes from all this sugar? Is it okay that I'm sleeping for 12 hours every night and still need a 2 hour nap? What does my husband even do when I am sleeping? WHY IS EVERYONE HINTING AT MY PREGNANCY!? DOES EVERYONE KNOW? am I already showing? should I be sucking in? Why do I feel like crying all the time? Should I even try to graduate from nursing school? Is my baby a sweet baby boy or a tough strong girl? Why don't these people drive safer?! Don't they know I'm paranoid of getting into a car accident? Why won't Randy stop badgering me about naming my child randy/randi junior? how should I decorate the baby room? Will someone I know see me swooning over these cute little onesies and find out I'm pregnant? Am I really, really pregnant?

One of my newfound hobbies was blog stalking other pregnant mommies-to be. I loved reading about how far along they were, how they were feeling, what they were going through. I loved stalking mommy blogs with pictures of their babies growing!! I loved reading about motherhood. I loved talking to Jeremy about being parents. All of a sudden the babies that my sister-in-law nannied didn't seem like minature hungry, screaming monsters anymore! (but some days, they still did).

We had our first doc. appointment at 8 weeks (when we thought we were at 10). Sweet Jeremy took rearranged his appointments with his patients so he could be there with me. Dr. Thackery told us right off we would have an ultrasound at the end of the appointment I was so nervous to find out if there was actually a bean in my uterus! (of course, there was!) It was so magical seeing my baby move and twitch and stretch! and it was even more magical seeing it's flicker of a heartbeat! I just don't even know what to say.

We had decided we would wait until Christmas to announce the news to extended family and facebook, which added to everyone who already knew's angst of spilling the beans (aka. Randy and Melissa Jane). Thanksgiving was only right around the corner, so was finals, and right after would be Christmas! It shouldn't be too hard! Oh it was. I know so many girls due in June! and it didn't help that I felt soooo sick during that final leg of first semester. I swore everyone in the nursing program guessed. (but it was all just in my head). Thankfully, I managed to pass all my classes! I may or may not have made the Dean's list agan!

The first thing I did when I finished finals was go shopping for myself- I easily bought 3 new shirts. Call me selfish, but I had had my head in a bubble for weeks and I needed some materialistic love. I know everyone feels like they just want to party after finals, but I stayed in bed pretty much the entire next day. Christmas break could not have come at a better time, and I could not feel better about being a bum. :)

What is crazy is how sudden I started getting a belly. All of a sudden I was telling my in laws that I wasn't pushing out anymore! All of a sudden, Jeremy was telling me I had to keep my coat on if I wanted our surprise to stay a secret! Isn't that bump just the sweetest thing?

Over the summer, I was training for a marathon and very proud of my gradual weight loss (15 lbs total!). I also developed a habit of obsessively weighing myself at least 3 times everyday. This is not good for someone who is pregnant and seeing numbers on a scale rising, when she has been so proud of littler numbers! I know it sounds shallow, but I have been obssesive of the foods I've been eating and the number on the scale. It was so great to hear that my weight gain was right on track, and for that tiny bump to finally pop out!

It was so great to tell our families on Christmas! It will be the first great-grandbaby on my side, and my grandma is so thrilled! My parents told me that the baby will be born in the year of the dragon, which means so much luck in the Chinese culture. We announced to Jeremy's side with a cute card for the grandparents that said "You are so great...... that's why we wanted you to be GREAT-grandparents again." It was so sweet receiving so much love from such big supportive families!

It was such a great Christmas! and such great way to top the end of the year. and we are so excited for the upcoming year!!! It's crazy to think that we will have a 6 month old crawling around this time next year. It's crazy how much your life point of view changes with such a simple tweak. :)

Some fun questions I've seen a couple girls on my stalking list do:
How far along? 15.5 Weeks
Total weight gain/loss: +4
Maternity clothes? feels like they are almost a must! I'm definitely stretching!
Stretch marks? nope :)
Sleep: all the time :)
Best moment this week: announcing my pregnancy! and receiving cute presents for our baby!
Miss Anything? feeling physically great!
Movement: not yet, but the doc says I will before our next appt!
Food cravings: cuties clementines- I LOVE those things!
Anything making you queasy or sick: just depends on what I'm feeling at that moment in time.
Have you started to show yet: YES! :)
Gender prediction: We think it's a boy. :)
Labor Signs: no.
Belly Button in or out? in, but a lot less in than before!
Wedding rings on or off? on
Happy or Moody most of the time: can I say both? :)
Looking forward to: my next doc appointment and finding out the sex of the baby (Jan. 13th)!!!
Funny Moment of the Week: every moment with jeremy is pretty much a funny moment. :)

Sorry for the long post, but it was a lot to hold in for 2 1/2 months!!!!