it's in a parent's instinct to protect their baby.
it's natural to desire it to your very core that they never feel pain, or hurt, or devastation, or despair, or anything aside from safe and happy.
and she will fight it with all her might to be independent.
she'll fight you kicking and screaming to get hurt.
she'll go behind your back, when you're not watching and you can't possibly protect her,
and she'll fall.
and she'll cry.
and that pain will be the most unbearble moment of your life.
you will be heartbroken for her.
you will comfort her and tell her big girls don't cry.
and she'll get up, and now she's stronger because she fell.
she's learning from falling.
she's learning from crying, and getting hurt.
so the question is,
how much do you let her fall?
and how badly do you let her fall?
because, does she really have to learn on her own?
from her own experience?
how do you teach her that it's important to get a great gpa, but also to learn.
how can you teach her to be a leader, and set high standards and life goals for herself?
how do you teach her that grade school isn't everything, that there's more to that little bubble of high school popularity; that things that seem so very important right now, won't be?
how do you teach her that some boys are pigs, and she can say no?
and that if she doesn't say no the first time, she doesn't have to keep saying yes?
how do you teach her that she can have fun, but marijuana and alcohol won't get you too far in life?
how can you teach all of this, before she is heartbroken beyond repair?
how do you raise a child right, before they are grown into adulthood and set in their ways?
I've seen some heartbreaking things in my life,
and I don't know how to hide my daughter from them.
go ahead and say it,
i've got years before I have to worry.
but these 9 months have been speeding by
before I know it, baby amelia surprising me with her pregnancy announcement.
and i hope she won't be able to wait, because she's bursting with anticipation.
...just have to figure out the answer to my big question(s).