[day 20] someone you see yourself marrying or being with in the future

so today, I have decided I am going to copy the 30 day challenge thingy I've seen going around. Unfortunately, I will be blogging the ones that are on my mind and actually interesting, so the days will actually not be in order.

I chose day twenty because it's simple and easy. You all know our/my blog title, you all know who's the most important person in my life. (it's Jeremy, in case there was in confusion). anyways I could blab on and on about jeremy, because there are so many things to say about him. we are really on the same wavelength (most of the time) and I love that we are so crazy and alike (even though you wouldn't believe it with Jeremy).

but I also wanted to write about our proposal story. My side of it.
I remember a lot of people asking about it last July, and I never really got around to writing it down. a lot of it really makes me laugh, and it gets me bubbly remembering it, because I loved it so much! :) disclaimer* knowing me and my obsession with details, this will probably be very long.

So to set the scene, Jbaby proposed on Saturday, July 3rd of last year.

On Thursday, Jeremy worked a 6-2 shift and I had school in the morning. I had decided to stay at the marriott library to catch up on some studying afterwards. We were avid text-partners at that time, and I assume when jeremy stopped texting back around 2, it was because he went home and fell asleep. anyway, I get over to his house around 4:30ish, run up to his bedroom because I'm so excited to see him........... and he's not there. He's. not. there. I get myself calm until I find his truck isn't under his big white tent. and then I'm freaking out. I know it's silly but, I'm thinking he got in some major accident on his way back from work, because Jeremy NEVER randomly stops texting me. so I'm calling him... no answer. calling him... no answer. calling him... running to my car, speeding down his neighborhood, driving the route I know to work. Suddenly, jeremy then texts me, "hey babe, sorry they asked me to stay late at work until 4 or so." Oh! okay! no problem! no suspiscions what-so-ever! I'm playing Barbie with Jeremy's normal niece and his CRAZY niece when he comes home with his sister, Melissa. again, no suspiscions, just so trusting and happy to see my lover! (they were picking out the ring, and apparently they had even made up a cover-up story because jeremy was so paranoid I would ruin his surprise).

So the next day, Friday, jeremy is working another 6-2 shift. and I'm at the Bodtcher house again. while I'm napping, Melissa comes in and corners me about what my dream proposal is. Obviously, I hadn't thought this through at the point, so we'll skip the awkward conversation. Jeremy takes forever to get home again (picking up the ring) and tells me report just took forever.......... (right). Later that evening, Melissa tells me I have to do my hair cute and stresses the importance of pictures for the 5k the next day (this is really stressing me out because my hair always looks awful when I'm running). She also tells me hypothetically if Kellen (her fiance) ditches her and if Jeremy ditches me, that I have to run with her (because I like to sprint the last yards any race). Which I'm blowing off, because jeremy never ditches me when we run. His dad is also dropping huge hints like "Jeremy... so are you nervous for tomorrow?" and really, I didn't pick up on a thing... I really didn't think anything was out of the ordinary, while all around me there was this SECRET!!!!!!!

so come saturday. we get up fresh and early for the run (this makes me smile, because I guess Jeremy hardly slept, imagining the different ways he's propose). I don't notice Jeremy acting weird, or extra quiet, or super nervous (like how guys apparently normally act before they propose?) but anyway, we start the race... we're running together... we hit mile one, and out of nowhere, Jeremy ditches me and takes off.............................. so I'm trying not to be upset, but yes, I'm a little upset that now, I'm in a mass sea of strangers all by myself and it's stressing me out (okay, not really). But I start jogging really slow, and the last 2.1 miles by myself felt like it took forever, because I'm thinking about everything i was going to say to jeremy after the run (haha). Anyways, I get to the end, and I see Jeremy at the sidelines... waving me over. yeah, I totally ignored him (haha). then he's waving me over frantically, so I stomp over to him, and before I can say anything, he gets down on one knee and with an opened ring box.


the next split second felt like a few seconds actually, because I remember going deaf and my vision focusing in on just J. and the next thing I know I'm screaming and tackling him and screaming and.... just screaming. (and jeremy stands up at this point, which I was confused about). He asked me "is that a yes then?" and I was so shaken up, I don't think I remember my response? apparently it was affirmative, because I finished the race with a ring on my finger, and a fiance by my side.

(*credits to emily vorwaller)

so anyway. long story short, he proposed, and i said yes. (kinda) Probably the most eventful 3rd of July I've had in my life.

I just wanted to say that one of the things I love about Jeremy is that considers my preferences and my feelings and me all the time. I love that he knows that I love surprises and that I loved my surprise proposal. I love that he always made it (and still makes it) so easy to see that we're soulmates.

what is love?

Okay. Some people Valentine's Day is super overrated

and don't think it's that big of a holiday.

Maybe that's true,

but I am so glad for the excuse to celebrate us as a couple

I get a little overexcited sometimes and gave Jeremy all his v-day surprises

before the date.

So yesterday, the surprises were all Jeremy's.

We had work and school in the morning.

so come 5-thirty p.m.,

I get home,

throw all my essentials into my duffel bag,

run into the shower,

and got ready in about half an hour.

We went to Buca de Peppo's for dinner, dress-up style.

I love it when we match.

This is with the cute peeing statue right by our table! ha!!

Our vallet guy was hillarious.

He had this scrambling run that he did everywhere,

like when he was in the middle of talking to Jeremy,

and he just scramble-ran away......

....to the other side to get my door, apparently.

we couldn't stop laughing.

We could be in high school- going to a sweethearts dance

I'm so in love with this boy.

On the drive up to my "surprise,"

he asked if I was falling asleep,

and I said "no,

just thinking...

about how you're perfect for me in every way"

(it was a long list)

(HAHA this picture is perfect for how crazy we are.

I love the picture of

my back and

my dress and

Jeremy's face )

We drove for around park city in circles

for what seemed like forever

because of mapquest's lack of assistance.

Jeremy called his mom

and we found our way to this:

This is a FULL OUT kitchen in our ROOM!!

yes, there is a fridge, microwave, dishwasher, sink, and stove.

Inside the cabinets were

a blender, toaster, pans, pots, etc. etc.

In our bathroom was

dreamy white towel-robes waiting for us,

along with a HUGE glass shower

and a full-sized tub fitting for both Jer and I

Here we are, living the dream.

here's the steamy shower ;) haha!

next to our bed,

there was a fireplace

-so romantic and dreamy :)

Jeremy also brought sparkling cider

and we toasted to us, now and forever.

note the coffee-table thingy that folds out to a table

and fits blankets and pillows and whatever you want in it.

(we're not sure what the name for it is,

but we will get one for our dream house!)

I wasn't sure if this would be flagged for inappropriate,

but I'll take this off if everyone has complaints.

The only comment I had on this was:

Jeremy has good taste!! ;)

oh Yes, there was a personal hot tub on our deck.

I was telling my SIL, Melissa the only time I've ever been skinny dipping

was last night (haha).

We have definitely taken a lot of note of

the style and design of this hotel

for our dream house.

and the hottub on the deck dealy is definitely one of them.

leaving.

and so so sad.

Jeremy and I drove around for an hour

trying to find a place for breakfast.

(he said I was getting a little snappy towards the end because I was so hungry)

but this is the frog I kissed.

turns out,

I've had my prince with me all along!

We drove up from park city

to Heber,

just to say we've been there.

and on the way,

we found this baby.

I think it is soooooooo hot.

we were seriously considering for about two minutes.

(We might still call the guy,

but we're probably not considering it

as seriously now).

Jeremy also took me on a shopping spree.

I got a new bag (of course),

and some new crocs for work,

some new clothes for the two of us.

So, whether it's a big day most people or not,

I love that we got to spend it with each other.

I love that I could get dolled up and dressed up for my special man.

I love that he thinks so much about me

and he remembers how much I love surprises.

I loved our hotel room-

just to relax and make new memories with.

I love that Jeremy is so patient and getting better at going shopping with me.

I love that even though we're back,

he's still being so sweet to me

getting dinner ready for me.

I love that I married my best friend

and that we both love celebrating Valentines in a big special way. :)

BRAT!!!!!

My wife is a brat but I still love her anyway

The End

You are the best part of being Mrs. Bodtcher

I have stopped writing before-

so carefully concealing my thoughts away,

in hopes to avoid another heartbreak.

With all my ambition buried,

you were the last thing I could imagine.

I use to go to strange places

so I could be enfolded

in strange sounds, strange views, strange smells, strangers.

With the emotions lacking of sensation,

youth didn’t seem so hard to let go.

If I could clarify to you what it felt like,

so you would understand

in complete detail, I would.

Without any hopes or aspirations or desires,

you just forget how to put on a pretty face.

I use to be

so surrounded

in a hundred different immense emotions,

within this diminutive character.

You could say all I wanted was goodbye.

I adore the sense of change

so much, because it reminds me of second chances.

In the sense that all can be forgiven

with forgiveness, sympathy, and compassion,

your essence grows from challenges.

I love the warmth from the sun, and the feelings of

soft embrace and surprises and safety,

infinite and unconditional respect.

without a doubt,

you make me feel all these things and more.

I wish I could convey to

someone, anyone, maybe everyone

in train or on a bus,

with or without green eggs and ham, how

you placed together all my puzzle pieces.

I have struggled and skirmished

so to find some kind of flaw

in your flawless perfection.

Without being too demanding,

You said “believe.”

I wanted everything to do with you,

so I believed

in all your words, and thoughts, and dreams.

With sincere words,

you confessed,

“I can’t imagine where I’d be without you

so please take my hand, and let’s run

into the glowing sunset

with intentions of never looking back;

You are the best thing that’s ever been mine”

I’m brought to my knees,

So grateful for all you’ve helped me see.

Inspiration pulses through my arteries,

with deliverance from

you.

I have this faith,

so strong and sure

in everything to do with eternity

with

you.

I know it’s silly, but

sometimes my thoughts are formed

in concerns of you forgetting.

With frequent promptings, I hope

you never fail to remember that

I’m

so

in love

with

you.

of course.

so this semester, I took 5 online classes. Five, to finish up my psychology degree and Online, to avoid commuting 3 hours per day through trax. and also to avoid tedious lectures. I was really expecting chapters, test reviews, and exams. But, I swear, just because I had expected that... I have lectures to watch, discussion posts on my thoughts and such required, a few 6-7 page essays to write, it just goes on and on. What is this?? Whatever happened to simplicity of online classes? Nevermind online classes, but just simplicity of classes in general?! College is suppose to be hard because your grade is based mostly on exams; college isn't suppose to be tedious because you're worried about all the little things to do to fluff up your grade that you have no time to study the course material! blah!

the end.

one more thing:

I forgot to say last night/earlier this morning that I'm so grateful for music. I really do love everything about music. I had tears in my eyes this morning because I loved the rest/rest interruption hymn (...it also be the exhaustion getting to me). but anyway, music is so beautiful, and I'm so glad that I have the ability to appreciate it. I love singing (whatever you can call singing), I love playing the piano (the one song I still remember how to play), I love finding new songs that I love. I love beautiful chords and meaningful lyrics. I love love love that it can move someone's soul and soften someone's heart.

i think music is great!
That's all!

Missing

Okay... lately I've been a wimp about being alone. Actually, I take that back... I've always been a wimp about being alone. I hate it. absolutely despise being by myself. not really sure why it's so hard to take. It doesn't matter if Jer's sitting across the room and we're doing homework and not talking, it's great just being near him.

His preceptorship is killing me.

Jeremy is gone from 6pm-6am tonight (so I have another 6 hours until he's home)... and then he goes back at 2pm-2am. I just feel like I could cry thinking about it. Like if you work a really long shift and you know that you can go home and sleep for like 10 minutes and then you have to go back and work a really long shift again??? this is what it feels like. and yes, I'm in the comfort of our home... with plenty of things to pass my time... and yet, I feel like screammmmmmmmmmmmming. i think I've tried reading my textbooks somemore... watching our wedding video... facebook... laundry... cleaning.......... blog stalking other people... more cleaning...

The wedding video makes me cry. haha I know it's super cheesy. It just reminds me how happy we were (and how much I miss him haha). So to be honest, Jeremy and I had a recent disagreement. mostly because I was getting so annoyed with never seeing him. Sometimes it's hard to be happy you have such a hardworking, determined, smart husband when all you think about is how much less time you spend with him now compared to before you were married (at least in one's mind, hypothetically speaking). Sometimes I wish we had it handed to us- that we never had to work or go to school, and just spend all day in bed. It's all I can do forcing myself to get up, leaving jer, to go to work; I'm sure it's the same for him. It's been so long since we've slept in together, just waking up without an alarm. I remember when we first got married and we would say "wish I could not go to school/work/volunteering, and stay with you in bed all day... but then we'd be the contestants for the biggest loser!" ...and man, how I wish it more than ever.

on the upside. at least I can pretend I'm a pretty good housewife. haha! cleaning/laundry/dishes! BAH HA HA! ha! hahahaha! oh man. Let's change the subject because I feel like I am becoming more and more onery as i type.

Things I am grateful for:
-toilet paper
-education
-vision
-all 6 senses
...........is it five???
-good friends
-trust
-inspiration
-a really really great/my other half husband
-challenges (not while I'm going through them, but being able to look back and seeing what I've accomplished)
-skills
-having parents that taught me to develop the good habit of PLANNING and SAVING MONEY
-growing up (goodness, not growing old).
-emotions
-being independent
-modern technology- where would we be without transporation?
-goals/dreams
-exercise
-warmth
-comfort
-people who are nice to me even when I'm bossy
-forgiveness
-the feeling when you relieve a very full bladder
-puzzles
-dancing
-light warm rain
-picnics
-cute, romantic, 40s dates
-letters
-fresh flowers
-babies
-FOOD
-service***

...I think I started naming things I like...? however... on service. Isn't really such a great thing? I've never loved anything more (maybe that's an exaggeration, because I do love my husband a lot, but...) maybe it is a developed hobby for some... but it really is just so great. i really could dedicate my life work to this. I think in the future- near future, very far future, doesn't really matter- I want to move to a third world country, be poor, live a really humble life, and just serve. just... serve other people and help clean up some tragedies and disasters we as a people have caused on others. Sometimes, I feel like if we all had the right mindset in love, our earth could just take a breath and all could be well. Sometimes, I wish I could stop genicide. Sometimes I wish I could share with someone exactly what or how I feel when I serve a fellow man. Could it be that bad? Could our world- we as humans- have so much hate??? How did we obtain so so much hate? Sometimes i think so hard my head hurts and my teeth hurt from grinding. and then I take a step back... and jeremy has let me know plenty of times nobody will get away with hurting me. and so I think- we have hate, because others do our family wrong. because others do us wrong. and we take it out on their entire kind. and it's really heartbreaking. sometimes I get nauseous when i think about it. but this is why I'm so grateful for forgiveness. and so grateful for freedom and agency and love and  p e a c e  and family and great, trusting friends. I really do live such a great life, filled with enough blessings to keep all the sad ghosts away. so therefore I'm also grateful for thought, and the ability to obtain perspective. thank goodness for that, because if not, I might just be a miserable old maid.

so...ADD ready........... go.

jeremy graduates 8 weeks from this coming thursday. I'm so excited to embarrass him with his entire family at his comencement (I know he'll secretly love it) and buy him many, many pairs of new scrubs (apparently there are some out there with the whole zippers, buttons, and tie strings sha-bang...) and a nurse bag!!!! I'm so excited for jeremy, because he's worked so so hard and studied so so much and he's finally there! light at the end of the tunnnnnnnnnnnnnel!! So proud of him :)

Also. We finally decided on a baby name. (again, not pregnant or planning on becoming so in the near future). but, we've come to some mutual agreement!!! We love Scarlett Anne. (nobody steal that or we will be highly unhappy!!!!) and I like Kiley jo. (or Jo as a middle name period). I LOVE the name Ella. Love the nickname Millie, but I don't want to name my daughter Millicent-- any ideas??? Also, still trying to let Charlotte grow on Jer. It'll have to. :) But, babies are far far far down the road; it's just nice to dream once in a while :) I went over to my best friend's house today, her mom's preggers, and I think I almost cried looking at all the baby stuff. I'm so excited for the new baby girl in the family, I could die!! It's not that I'm really THAT baby crazy, I just truly think they're a huge blessing in this world. they're sweet little miracles, that just break your heart. I feel like if everyone could feel the way I feel about babies, genicides would stop.

anyway... really random. I think it's time to log off. 5 more hours to finish laundry and freak-clean the rest of our home. :)

love love love.