25

dear evelyn,

our family went to moab this weekend and we had so much fun. daddy and i went there for our honeymoon and our first anniversary, and all those memories came flooding back. it seems that every time we visit, change is approaching and i'm about to grow and stretch. our first visit was our sweet honeymoon; daddy and i had to learn to compromise and grow together, but change was welcome and it was a fairly easy transition. a year later, we returned for our first anniversary and found out big sis amelia was on her way; i felt ill-prepared to wear all the hats a mother does and was terrified to say the least. daddy told me how excited he was to be a dad, and promised me everything would be okay. six years later, we're back again; this time growing our third a baby, a 25 weeker, you! most days, i feel so ready for this growth and change. some moments, i feel overwhelmed and incapable. at the end of the day, i feel peace; that i'm raising my family the best i can, that i'm setting an example i hope is good enough, that i'm teaching enough and that my children feel loved enough. and daddy is still right by my side, promising that everything will be okay. so much better than just okay, too.

you've been moving and kicking like crazy these days-- i love your constant nudges. i felt you in two places at once for the first time this week. scarlett felt you move multiple times while she was cuddling me, but amelia is still waiting for her turn!

we love you so much
(especially me),
mom

24

dear evelyn,

this week has been pretty easy-going for us! we had to work two nights in a row (the second night was only a half shift though) and that has reminded me how thankful i am to not be working full time nights with this pregnancy. spring has sprung, and this week we went to the daybreak food truck roundup and also took your sisters to the "beach" with their swimsuits! we're so excited for this weather! amelia had kindergarden orientation and also her last soccer game for the winter season (please don't grow up as fast as she did!). scarlett has been understanding better why i can't carry her around anymore, but also requests to be carried/held by everyone else as often as possible. she loves you, and talks about you often; this week she approached me and kissed you (my belly) and said "baby evelyn" without any prompting from me. daddy *saw* you kick so it looks like you're getting stronger, though your sisters have yet to feel you. daddy is constantly looking at car listings and it feels like we're constantly on test-driving dates; we just want to be ready for you! we're excited for our family trip this week; it should be a fun weekend of sleepless nights and adventures!

love you so,
mom

23

dear evelyn,

it seems that there's been a physically noticeable change from last week to this one. i'm feeling the aches and pains in my back and joints and i can feel the swelling in body. i no longer fit into my wedding ring, so i've changed over to my special band that is a little bigger and my belly button is working it's way out to be in outie! more and more people have been making comments about my pregnancy and i'm trying to stay positive. because truly, i get to house and grow your body, which is such a high privilege that i know so many yearn to be blessed with. i've been determined to keep our bodies healthy by exercising five times a week with my high-intensity workout videos. since the weather has warmed up, your older sisters and i have started walking to, around, and back from the lake-- amelia has built up to 2 miles, and i think we're going to run murray's independence day 5k this summer! i'm glad i have motivation to set a good example for, you girls truly have made me a better human that i've ever been before. daddy has been allowing me to nap every saturday, which is such a saving grace to my sanity. he works so hard to support and provide for our family and he also spends so much of his free time looking for a car and a house that will fit our growing family; i feel so blessed to have a man who takes his husbandly and fatherly roles so seriously. i've also been cancelled from work for the last 3 weeks, which has been surprising in this spring season, but i'm grateful for the extra rest and time with my family.

although this week has been challenging, it's clear where we have been blessed. my troubles truly are few and so insignificant compared to the troubles of the world. these days, i'm working hard on being kind and serving others, being a constant example as a mother, rising above (or possibly just avoiding) negativity, and just being happy.

you've been moving a bit less this week, and amelia's getting a little impatient with you. we read that your skeletal structure is developing and your kicks should be noticeably stronger in the coming weeks. we can't wait!

love you love you!
mom

22

dear evie,

it's been a good week! just feeling blessed and lucky to be a mom, and also overwhelmed with normal life. you know (or maybe you will when you're a mom). dad felt you kick for the first time this week-- we were sitting quietly talking one night and you gave him two hard kicks, and the rest is history! your sweet sisters kiss you good night and good morning every day, amelia always says "hi evelyn, it's millie, i love you!"

we went to home depot's diy workshop for the first time this month and your sisters loved it! i loved watching your dad helping them with tools, and i'm pretty sure there was steam coming off of him! hahahaha! i love imagining you joining our family and running around with the girls. i could see daddy taking a turn helping you hammer in your project and you playing games with us in the playroom and you taking your first steps in our home and you in your infant carseat in the new cars we test drove. i just see you in everything we do.

i love you,
mom

21

dear ev,

(i love that your name just flows so freely in our home!)

scarlett finishes off with your name when we sing "E-V-E-L-Y-N spells..." I'm not sure she completely understands the change that will come when you arrive. she does know you're growing in my belly, she does think you're cute, she does love babies so. i think the adjustment will be a littl easier for her than it was on amelia.

amelia is still keeping up with your growth every week. she now comes up to you (my belly) a few times a day and says "hi evelyn. it's your big sister millie. i love you!" i think you'll recognize her voice when you meet her in this life. she truly is such a great big sister, and she's such a protector and leader and i'm sure you'll thrive with her example.

daddy brags about you to everyone who will listen. it melts my heart that he's more excited than stressed this pregnancy around. these days, he spends all his free time looking up new vehicles and new homes to prepare for you and our growing family. i'm normally anxious for impending change, but i've been feeling so at ease and have faith that things will work out as they should.

as i type, i can hear your sisters' chatters and giggles in their bedroom-- i just know all of our hearts will grow to hold all of our love for you; i know you'll be chattering and giggling with them soon. i hear that sisterhood is great, and i can't wait for you to meet yours.

love, mom

20

dear evie,

again, i'm writing this at the last minute- the day before 21 weeks. it's truly difficult to find time amidst the chaos to write the eloquent and sincere letters that i feel you deserve. but, your sisters are in bed and daddy is off cleaning the temple for 3 hours, so it looks like i have some time tonight!

something interesting about motherhood is how you feel so much pride in watching your children grow and develop, and yet a little yearning for them to stay small. as much as i love teaching your sisters and watching them mature, it's been difficult for me to let go of constant snuggles. (i'm excited to hold you in my arms and cuddle you all day long.) and i think one day, i'll missing changing diapers and innocent endless questions and little humans constantly need me. i try to remind myself not to get lost in the hustle bustle busyness and to slow down and enjoy simple things. like helping my child clean up spilled milk or mealtimes; to let these be "slow down" times instead of stressful times. because truly, i truly just love being a mom so much. these years are just flying by too fast for me.

we had your anatomy ultrasound at dr. thackeray's office today-- dad got off work and we arranged for uncle travis and aunt collette to watch your sisters so we could both enjoy your ultrasound. you are just adorable. i loved seeing your 4-chambered heart, liver, kidneys, brain, spine, arms by your face, skinny little legs, all of you! it's so special and mind-blowing to me that we have such advanced technology to see a baby growing in utero. you're measuring a bit small (about the size of a 20 weeker, so one week behind), but we're keeping your due date the same. dad and i are thinking we might pick your birthday to be july 8th, the day after you are due. you'll come to know that the 8th is sort of a special date in our family, but you're welcome to come anytime (safely) before that if you so desire. also, the ultrasound showed my left (hemorrhagic) ovarian cyst has decreased in size from 5.5 cm to 3 cm-- which is also amazing to me! we had another titer drawn for my antigen-c antibody, but are feeling at peace that the results will be comforting.

you've got a couple of friends coming at the same time as you. baby cousin robbins is due july 28th, but will likely come a little early; baby boy jones due in march; baby girl serr due in may; baby boy garcia due in june; baby girl antczak in june; baby henao due in july; baby bowman due in september; mommy also has a few friends at work and friends from high school due this summer... and i'm just so excited for you to have baby friends everywhere!

gosh, i truly can't wait for you to get here so you can sleep on my chest and i can feel you breathe. it's going to be so, so great.

love,
mom

18 + 19

dear evelyn,

we're almost 20 weeks (halfway!) as i type this, and i'm sorry that i've been hitting a writing block with my letters. i think about you frequently as i watch your sisters grow, play, learn, love. it's so interesting being a mom and feeling every emotion in the entire day. i can feel like pulling my hair out from your sisters fighting and/or being smart-alecks one minute and then have my heart melt/swell with pride watching them do something the next. it's incredible. hope you know how i love you so.

so many friends have been asking how i'm feeling lately, and i can honestly say: so great! this is probably the easiest pregnancy i've had so far. i think amelia's pregnancy was a little harder and scarlett's pregnancy was by far the worst. but i think it's only fair that i disclose that i was working full time nights and taking care of a 2 year old toddler during scarlett's pregnancy. and between nursing school and working part time, i was on my feet 40 hours a week during amelia's pregnancy (but no taking care of anyone else during my time off, so that was a bonus). but with you, i have no school and minimal hours of work, and i spend my days wrangling my babies. which is also hard, but a little easier on my baby-growing body. i feel nausea on and off and probably vomit about once a week (probably around the day(s) i work), but all in all, i still conclude i've been having the easiest time growing you.

amelia has been so into this pregnancy-- she has been telling everyone that she is also pregnant. her preschool teacher told me that she has crawled on the floor saying, "i'm so tired... i'm pregnant!" (i've never done this before for her to model). i started sleeping with a pillow supporting my belly and back this week, and amelia supposedly has too... though she says it hasn't helped her back feel better. i want to cry with laughter with every new detail she provides about "her pregnancy."

love you lots. love feeling you move every single day.
love you!
-mom