21

dear ev,

(i love that your name just flows so freely in our home!)

scarlett finishes off with your name when we sing "E-V-E-L-Y-N spells..." I'm not sure she completely understands the change that will come when you arrive. she does know you're growing in my belly, she does think you're cute, she does love babies so. i think the adjustment will be a littl easier for her than it was on amelia.

amelia is still keeping up with your growth every week. she now comes up to you (my belly) a few times a day and says "hi evelyn. it's your big sister millie. i love you!" i think you'll recognize her voice when you meet her in this life. she truly is such a great big sister, and she's such a protector and leader and i'm sure you'll thrive with her example.

daddy brags about you to everyone who will listen. it melts my heart that he's more excited than stressed this pregnancy around. these days, he spends all his free time looking up new vehicles and new homes to prepare for you and our growing family. i'm normally anxious for impending change, but i've been feeling so at ease and have faith that things will work out as they should.

as i type, i can hear your sisters' chatters and giggles in their bedroom-- i just know all of our hearts will grow to hold all of our love for you; i know you'll be chattering and giggling with them soon. i hear that sisterhood is great, and i can't wait for you to meet yours.

love, mom

20

dear evie,

again, i'm writing this at the last minute- the day before 21 weeks. it's truly difficult to find time amidst the chaos to write the eloquent and sincere letters that i feel you deserve. but, your sisters are in bed and daddy is off cleaning the temple for 3 hours, so it looks like i have some time tonight!

something interesting about motherhood is how you feel so much pride in watching your children grow and develop, and yet a little yearning for them to stay small. as much as i love teaching your sisters and watching them mature, it's been difficult for me to let go of constant snuggles. (i'm excited to hold you in my arms and cuddle you all day long.) and i think one day, i'll missing changing diapers and innocent endless questions and little humans constantly need me. i try to remind myself not to get lost in the hustle bustle busyness and to slow down and enjoy simple things. like helping my child clean up spilled milk or mealtimes; to let these be "slow down" times instead of stressful times. because truly, i truly just love being a mom so much. these years are just flying by too fast for me.

we had your anatomy ultrasound at dr. thackeray's office today-- dad got off work and we arranged for uncle travis and aunt collette to watch your sisters so we could both enjoy your ultrasound. you are just adorable. i loved seeing your 4-chambered heart, liver, kidneys, brain, spine, arms by your face, skinny little legs, all of you! it's so special and mind-blowing to me that we have such advanced technology to see a baby growing in utero. you're measuring a bit small (about the size of a 20 weeker, so one week behind), but we're keeping your due date the same. dad and i are thinking we might pick your birthday to be july 8th, the day after you are due. you'll come to know that the 8th is sort of a special date in our family, but you're welcome to come anytime (safely) before that if you so desire. also, the ultrasound showed my left (hemorrhagic) ovarian cyst has decreased in size from 5.5 cm to 3 cm-- which is also amazing to me! we had another titer drawn for my antigen-c antibody, but are feeling at peace that the results will be comforting.

you've got a couple of friends coming at the same time as you. baby cousin robbins is due july 28th, but will likely come a little early; baby boy jones due in march; baby girl serr due in may; baby boy garcia due in june; baby girl antczak in june; baby henao due in july; baby bowman due in september; mommy also has a few friends at work and friends from high school due this summer... and i'm just so excited for you to have baby friends everywhere!

gosh, i truly can't wait for you to get here so you can sleep on my chest and i can feel you breathe. it's going to be so, so great.

love,
mom

18 + 19

dear evelyn,

we're almost 20 weeks (halfway!) as i type this, and i'm sorry that i've been hitting a writing block with my letters. i think about you frequently as i watch your sisters grow, play, learn, love. it's so interesting being a mom and feeling every emotion in the entire day. i can feel like pulling my hair out from your sisters fighting and/or being smart-alecks one minute and then have my heart melt/swell with pride watching them do something the next. it's incredible. hope you know how i love you so.

so many friends have been asking how i'm feeling lately, and i can honestly say: so great! this is probably the easiest pregnancy i've had so far. i think amelia's pregnancy was a little harder and scarlett's pregnancy was by far the worst. but i think it's only fair that i disclose that i was working full time nights and taking care of a 2 year old toddler during scarlett's pregnancy. and between nursing school and working part time, i was on my feet 40 hours a week during amelia's pregnancy (but no taking care of anyone else during my time off, so that was a bonus). but with you, i have no school and minimal hours of work, and i spend my days wrangling my babies. which is also hard, but a little easier on my baby-growing body. i feel nausea on and off and probably vomit about once a week (probably around the day(s) i work), but all in all, i still conclude i've been having the easiest time growing you.

amelia has been so into this pregnancy-- she has been telling everyone that she is also pregnant. her preschool teacher told me that she has crawled on the floor saying, "i'm so tired... i'm pregnant!" (i've never done this before for her to model). i started sleeping with a pillow supporting my belly and back this week, and amelia supposedly has too... though she says it hasn't helped her back feel better. i want to cry with laughter with every new detail she provides about "her pregnancy."

love you lots. love feeling you move every single day.
love you!
-mom