revel half 2016

i love running again! big cottonwood canyon is my favorite race, and i always feel so happy finishing it! revel is the best race i've ever ran in terms of organization and perks, and this blog post is in no way sponsored! as always, i loved my family cheering me on at the finish line with cow bells from revel (worst souvenir ever!) amelia happily snatched up free pizza at from the post-runners' party, and devoured it, even though it was before 9 am. love this race, hope to run the full marathon in a few years!

ragnar wasatch back

I was invited last minute to run Ragnar Wasatch Back (June 26th and 27th) with a bunch of people I didn't know. Then, very last minute I was switched to be Runner 2 in Van 1 to run 8.9, 3.2, and 3.6 miles for my three legs. Looking back, the stars aligned to make this the best possible experience a preggo lady could have. I ran at 8 in the morning, 8 at night, and 8 in the morning again for my legs-- optimal running times. My team was so sweet and let me sleep through the night, and eat whenever I needed to. My friend Kelly, had brought over a leg roller and icy hot to use the whole time I was riding between legs. I was so sore in between my runs, but the day after... nothing! It was like Ragnar never even happened! Part of me still can't believe I pulled out almost 9 miles for my first leg and still survived! (I've been taking it really easy since I found out I was pregnant!)

Of course I had to get souvenirs for my family (and of course it cost a fortune...). I got Jer a beanie, Amelia a t-shirt, and baby a onesie. I can't believe I'm already buying things for this baby... still a little surreal for me! I'll admit: I did get a little homesick for my babes and spent a ton of time scrolling through my pictures and videos.

Such a great experience, I'm so glad I committed!
xo

14

Dear Baby,

I can't believe we're out of the first trimester! We're feeling better and better everyday. At the end of last week, we ran the Ragnar together and it was amazing and awful. I'm happy we did it together, but you'll have to remind me to never do it while pregnant again. I got you a cute Ragnar onesie... I still can't believe you're real enough I can buy you things! We had another doctor's appointment this Monday-- this was the first doctor's appointment your daddy couldn't make. I felt overwhelmed with fear when Dr. Thackeray couldn't find your heartbeat with the doppler right away. I know it's silly that moms seem to worry a lot more than necessary, but really, I held my breathe the whole two minutes. You're healthy, and full of kicks and movement, just like big sis Amelia. I'm so happy to already be feeling your kicks every now and then. I'm so grateful you're growing so well. I can't believe we'll get two ultrasounds in the next month for you-- can't wait to find out if you're a boy or a girl!

xo,

Mom

slc marathon

april 19th, 7:00 am, slc marathon, 05:32:14

shall we just start out by saying: I'm not the fastest?
it was a beautiful day, perfect running weather. I'm the luckiest.
it had plenty of incline and decline, but nothing like the park city marathon.
I was averaging 10.5 minutes/mile for the first half, before the 5:00 pacer passed me.

around mile 15, my left IT band started aching. I prayed and prayed, "Heavenly Father, please please please make it stop. Please just make it stop so I can finish the next 11 miles." By the aide station at mile 16, I was feeling pretty defeated. I slowed down for water and walked for the next little bit. I finally stopped to stretch. By this time, I was begging, "please, Heavenly Father, please." When I started running again, my hip started hurting more than ever. Instantly, I felt so alone and started sobbing. The next moment happen just as instant, I was overwhelmed by his presence. I am here. It was silent. It was sacred. It was powerful. I sobbed a bit more. He didn't take the pain away, but He stayed with me.

I did the whole run three minutes, walk a minute deal. Then I started walking a lot more. Then I caught up with these two guys a mile 20-- Tommy and Brent, they were friends from high school living across the country from each other and would travel to run marathons together and catch up. The three of us talked, ran, walked, and finished the last 6 miles together. It was a lot less painful with those two!

in the end, my runkeeper app said I ran 26.99 miles in 05:33.
can you believe it?
nobody needs extra credit when you're already running a marathon.

I'm pretty proud of myself.
I'm also pretty sore everywhere, hobbling and waddling around.
all for a shiny medal, right?

I'm thankful for everyone who loved and supported and congratulated me.
xo!

lately

A little update on us Bodtchers, while we've been deathly ill the last week:

On top of a few other sketchy things, Jeremy's (45-55 hr/week) job decided they were going to change from hourly to salary pay without a raise and expect everyone to work 40-60 hours. It was stressful for a minute, but Jeremy got a job interview and job offer within the next week. The best part is he gets to work with his besties from his first home health job, and we know he'll be taken care of. The unique factor is they also asked him to be the Director of Nursing at a small facility. (This cracks me up, because Jeremy has been avoiding DON job offers since he graduated). Fortunately, we both have a good feeling about this. I'm just so proud of the nurse he is and the reputation he has that so many people are willing to give him a good recommendation. So happy that he got his dream job back!


We (and by we, I mean Jeremy and his dad and brothers) are making major progress on the basement. Molding and walls are painted, electrical is trimmed in, and 2000 pounds of tile have been transported down (by my macho man j-dawg). We're hoping to paint the ceiling this week, lay some tile down in the bath and kitchen, and order some cabinets. After the cabinets are in, we literally have to finish the molding in the tile areas, buy light covers, and put in carpet. AHHHHHH! It's seriously been a long time coming.

Amelia is continually growing leaps and bounds. She copies me with almost everything I do (so sweet, but also a little scary) and she understands almost everything I ask of her. This stage is amazing, because she is happy doing chores with me all day. Literally, she will watch me cook breakfast on her step stool, help me unload every dish in the dishwasher, she loves "sweeping," hand me everything in the laundry basket, pick up all the toys on the floor, and we just read read read and go on walks to the mailbox, have lunch, take a nap, and wait for dada to come home. Routine holds a special place in my heart, and I'm so grateful Amelia is loving it too. Amelia's also saying "baby" all day long now, and it melt me so much. I can't believe that my baby is almost 20 months, and grows closer and closer to TWO YEARS OLD every single day. Also, Jeremy found Amelia sitting up on her changing table one the morning, panicked, and did find an even lower setting on her crib. Ha!

I had another death on the morning of the 18th. I think it gets easier and easier the more it happens, it hardly even phases Jeremy anymore. In the moment, everything happens so fast, and I'm just so concerned with taking care of the family and making sure I'm taking care of their every needs (even though I have 12 other patients on a slow day). But afterwards, an hour after your shift, when you get weepy in the bathroom by yourself, and the reflection of your nursing care and question of if there was anything more you could have done weighs in, that is when everything slows down and you really feel the ton of bricks that hit you two hours ago. I do hope it gets easier. I mean, it's not hard, I just hope it's not so hard for me anymore.


Finally, I signed up for a marathon. The SLC marathon in April, to be specific. I think it's helping me deal with my anxiety better, as exercise commonly does. I'm currently on week 3 of 15, and I've coincidentally lost 3 pounds. I run 4 days a week, 3 short runs and 1 long. Today, I ran 9 miles in 91 minutes. The crazy thing about long runs is how deathly you feel the entire time, but how strong and emotional you feel when you finally finish. I'm so excited, and my one goal is to finish under five hours (not a fast runner here, obvi).


We have our ups and downs around here, but we're still feeling so blessed for our little journey.

131313

I first heard of 131313 from a running site I am following on facebook. Thirteen half marathons (13.1 miles) in 2013. I laugh at how ridiculous it sounded. Then, as time grew, I found myself thinking about the possibility. Finally, I decided to commit. And there was no turning back. I couldn't be more proud of myself. I PR'd three times, my current record being 1:47. I also had some rough races, awfully hilly courses, #4 in Ogden, where it poured the entire time and #10, where I rolled my ankle at mile 5. In the end, I stopped training in between races because I was working so much, but it was nice to see I could still bust out 13 miles if I needed to. I couldn't have done it without Jeremy. Every race day, he would pack up our babe and her breakfast, drive me to my bus, try to get some shut eye, pick up a dr. pepper for me right before my finish, and cheer me on as I passed the finish line. Ah, I'm a lucky girl to have him. I am also grateful that Amelia put up with this for her entire summer/fall. She's such a sweetheart; I can't think of a better motivation for taking care of my body than setting an example for my daughter. Finally, I couldn't have done it without the love and support from my family and friends! Training gets awfully tiresome sometimes, but it was always comforting to know I had my fan club to cheer me on. I loved running, I loved being a part of and meeting the running community, I loved getting stronger and faster, and I'm so grateful to have been able to accomplish this huge goal of mine!

my NCLEX-RN experience

This last Tuesday, I took the biggest exam of my life. This is how it works: there's a minimum on 75 questions, they'll stop you at 75 if they're sure you know your stuff or if they're sure you don't. Otherwise you keep going until they're sure or to the maximum of 265 questions. You get 6 hours to test.

I've been preparing for this since the first day of nursing school. But most extensively, the last three weeks. Registering for the exam, alone, is a stressful factor. The pressure built each day. I couldn't sleep very well the two nights before the exam, so test day I was coasting on adrenaline. I was a ball of nerves the entire morning. I ate breakfast and immediately thought I was going to throw it back up; my stomach hurt, I was extra sensitive, and Jeremy put up with me.

We dropped Amelia off with my mom around noon.

A lot can change in two years. Except for my taste in men, of course! The top left picture was taken before we drove to Las Vegas for Jeremy to take his NCLEX. I had no idea what he was in for in the first picture, but he knew exactly what I was going through in the second.

We drove up to the testing center in Bountiful, and arrived an hour early. While I was reviewing some last minute lab values, Jeremy wove through the streets and we ended up at the Bountiful Temple:

I was on the brink of tears. Jeremy gave me a (father's) blessing, and tried to get me to laugh. Then he drove me back to the testing center, while I focused on my breathing.

The whole checking in process is kind of ridiculous. I had my hand/fingers scanned about 50 times to make sure I was me, and not my twin trying to take the test for me. The boy that arrived right after me asked, "so are you excited?" I stared at him and said, "no." (awkward) then I added, "I'm excited to get it over with." I'm so terrible with small talk when I'm stressed out.

We went into the exam room, I put my earplugs in, I was shaking through the tutorial they make us watch, and right before my exam starts, I prayed. I can't tell you exactly what questions my exam included. I can tell you that I had a lot of alternative answer questions, and I had a lot of questions that I had no idea what was being asked. My two OB questions- never heard of the diagnoses, never heard of the symptoms. I stuck with my gut answers, flew through the questions, I felt so at peace. The exam shut off at 75 questions, and I was only somewhat surprised. There was no gut feeling that I had passed, but I wasn't terrified that I had failed.

When I called Jeremy, he laughed and said it hadn't even been an hour, "75 and out, huh? did you make NCLEX your biotch?" He drove me back south, where I scarfed down some food and we went to watch Fast 6. My paranoia didn't get the best of me that night.

The next day I spent focusing my energy making Amelia's birthday invitations; it was a great distraction. However, two of my friends who also took the NCLEX on Tuesday already had their licenses posted. Every hour I refreshed the DOPL website, and every hour there was zero results for Liana Bodtcher. It was a terrible thing to do to myself, and I quit at 1 in the morning.

My friend Christie texted me at 7 in the morning, "I just checked DOPL, congrats!" I couldn't be satisfied until I saw it myself. Ah, those five seconds after I saw my name were unbelievably amazing. Hallelujah, I was finally done.

So that's why I've been MIA lately. I'll probably continue to be MIA while I plan this giant party and look for a job. I've got a list of things I want to blog about when I get the chance... I'm so grateful for my family and friends who got me through the last four years. So grateful for blessings and the power of prayer that kept me calm through my test. So grateful that I'm done!!!!!!!!


ps. I ran for 98 minutes today. That's 10 miles. BAM I still got it! :)

on quitting and not

For me, there are defining moments that set me apart as someone who is strong, and someone who quits. If you know me, I'm not a big fan of quitting.

Anyway, I have a goal of running 13 half marathons this year. After my third half on the 11th, I had set a new personal record, 01:53. That high I felt was unbelievable. And training, the following week, was equally as miserable. I couldn't believe the pain, aching, nausea, exhaustion I was feeling with just 3, 7, and 4 miles. Friday, I was suppose to run 10. 10 miles should be nothing compared to 13's, right? I ran a total of one mile before I gave up. I'm so embarrassed to admit this! I was a quitter that day. All hopes of training and running a full marathon this year went out the window. I thought maybe I'd try again tomorrow.

That night, as I downed some caffiene to prepare for a long night of studying, Lauren texted me that Nate had thrown out his back, and couldn't run the Odgen half the next day. "do you want his spot?" Instantly I said yes. Yes to waking up at 2:45 am, yes to running 13 miles when I couldn't run 1 earlier today.

The next day, we waited for an hour in the light rain for the race to start. We hoped it would let up. When the gun went off, I could feel the rain beating down heavier. Immediately, I knew I wouldn't get a new pr from this race. A hundred hours later, I finally saw a little mile marker, "Mile 1." I was devastated. Usually I coast to mile 5 before I realize I'm a little bit tired. I was freeeeeezing! My jacket was completely soaked, I couldn't see through the rain, my legs were pounding, I could smell everyone's odors around me, why are there all these hills? ...I started sobbing. I didn't want to run this race. I was going to drop out at the next aid station.

The next aid station came and went. I put one foot in front of the other, through puddles, mud, piercing rain; carried myself mile after mile, aid station after aid station. I didn't chant my mantra, "you're not even tired" because I was exhausted. I hid behind other runners when I saw photographers ahead. I saw myself through mile 7 and mile 8 and knew I was going to finish this. I read all the encouraging signs along the way. One said "...baby, you're almost there. only a few more miles." and I lost it again. These signs obviously weren't for me, but knowing Jeremy thinks of me the whole time I run always lightens the load. And of course, those blessed people who yell, "only one more mile! one more mile!!! run!!!!! runnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!!!!"

Finally, I crossed the finish line. Gun time, 2:18:24. Tag time, 2:16:38. I've never been that happy to finish a race. I got the slowest half time of my season, but I proved to myself that I am not a quitter. You know that quote? "My child, you worry too much, I've got this remember? Love, God." it stuck to me that whole race. I was given an able body to do some incredible things. I'm grateful that I've trained and exercised it to finish something hard.

 

4 down, 9 to go.

running and rituals

today, I ran 13.1 miles at thanksgiving point. and it was pretty glorious.

this is one of my favorite parts of the race. yes, the beginning. when we are all stretching and jogging in place, connected through our excitement to run. and the announcer acknowledges our hard work and struggle to train and dedicate ourselves to running, and tears surround my eyeballs. then we have a moment of silence to those who were affected at the Bosten Marathon finish, and those tears are coming. although running is mostly an individual sport, I just love the unity I feel in races.



some of my rituals for races:

-try to defecate, or go #2, before the race. having to use the porta potty while watching minutes add to your race time is the worst. thing. ever.

-start slow. adrenaline is usually racing through my vessels when the gun goes off, so I try to start with a 5 mph pace. you know, so I don't run at a 7 mph pace, and crash at mile 3.

-ride the downhills. these are my best friends- I sprint down hills and they give me momentum for whatever is next.

-sprint the uphills too. if you hate them as much as I do, sprint through them so they're over with.

-imagine a rope linking you and the runner in front of you. then imagine the rope getting shorter and shorter. you will catch up. :)

-have a mantra of encouragement to chant in your head when you get tired (mine is, "you're not even tired"). only use selected mantra after mile 7, or halfway through your race.

-utilize course loops. soak up the cheering from the runners ahead of you, but be prepared to cheer on the runners behind you. this love will keep you going.

-lastly, have a groupie (haha). they are the best support! they encourage you, they drive you to the race, they babysit while you run, they take pictures for you at the finish line, they bring you dr. pepper after you finish, they adore you (my groupie is my hubby, and he is most definitely the best).

 



happy running! xoxo

motherhood

alright. so i've avoided blogging because it told me that I had to pay for data usage. and then I apparently, I can upload pictures again. what?

I'm definitely starting to adopt the hubby's way of life... going with the flow, not worrying about anything, because apparently life really does just works itself out.

okay.

you know the question you get after you have a baby?
"how's being a mom?"

how do you answer that?
"great" is definitely not good enough. or elaborative enough. or powerful enough.
"hard" sounds like you're not grateful, or thrilled.
"hilarious" can't be explained thoroughly

anyways.
it's the greatest, hardest, most hilarious journey I've ever embarked on.

it's great because i've never loved this much. my entire soul and heart goes into growing this little human. I can't believe I adore her more and more everyday. I can't believe how much stronger it's made my marriage. I live everyday to see her smile. to see all her milestones. to listen to her gab about her day. to feel her reach for my lips when i'm talking back. to nurse her. to watch her learn. I love that she already has stranger anxiety; I love that she recognize me as her mama (sorry if she cries for you, but I won't apologize for loving this). it's amazing how smart she is, I can't help but brag. it's great because we were trusted to be parents; i was trusted to be a mother. Someone knew we were ready before we knew it. I still can't believe it. and I feel so blessed.

it's hard because I'm also a student. the first week of school I cried for hours everyday and told jeremy I was quitting. it's hard because it's sleep-depriving. it's hard sometimes I don't know why she is whining and we just stare at each other (i'm asking amelia what's wrong, and she's telling me to fix it). I've never cared too much about being the best at anything; mostly just accepted that I'll do my best and that's all there is to it. but I stress about being the best mom. when I grow old and she grows up, I hope to still be her best friend. it's hard because i hate pumping at school, and feeling engorged during class, or worrying about running out of milk! it's hard because i worry so much, period. it's hard because sometimes when i'm at my ropes end and I get spit up on for the fifth time, I feel like i'm not cut out to be a mommy. it's hard because sometimes uncle travis gets to see her roll over before I do.

it's hilarious because sometimes you just have to laugh. Jeremy sends me all these random picture text and sometimes I laugh out loud in the middle of class. or when there is spit up in my hair before it's even dry. or when we talk for her. Jeremy always uses a mexican accent. ? um anyway. it's hilarious that's she's discovered her lungs. everything she says has to be in a LOUD voice (hm wonder where she got that from...). I love the way she can go from laughing in delight to teary-eyed and right back again. I love her incredible attitude.

there's a million things I wish I could express about motherhood and it's just not quite possible. it's changed me through and through.

st. george

post half marathon

matching hawaiian dresses!

brigham city temple open house

sleeping together, post 1/2 marathon

tummy time

at the zoo, with mr. gorilla

 

please don't think i'm a terrible mother. (she didn't get any) but this picture is undebateably hilarious.

amelia's been hitting some milestones really early:
-she can roll over from back to tummy, and she does it everytime I put her down.
-she's been scooting herself around for a while now; jer thinks she'll be crawling within a month.
-stranger anxiety hit. bad. she cries and it's sad. but I can't lie and say I hate it.
-she's sitting up by herself for about 7 seconds at a time now.
-she is playing her her hands and feet ALL the time.
-always turns towards sounds and noises.

we've got a smart cookie. she never wants anything to pass her by!




motherhood is. everything.