Saturday, November 24, 2012

on my avoidance of medication in general

I'm not sure how well known of a fact this is, but I try to avoid medications at all cost (within reason, of course). I do this because I was raised with the belief that your body is trying to communicate to you a need, or a warning. For example, I avoid pain medication because I feel that your body is trying to tell you to stop doing something. I feel that blocking the pain receptors doesn't help deal with the long term issue at hand. My parents didn't offer me ibuprofen when I had shin-splints during track season in high school, but instead told me to stop running.

With that being said, I won't deny that I have caved before. I took immodium once because I had runs that made me lose 10 pounds. I received pitocen because my labor wasn't progressing after 10 hours of my water breaking. I took motrin 800s after delivery for several days. I fully believe in immunizations. Those are just a few examples. Again, I avoid medication, but within reason.

This doesn't mean I believe that everyone should do the same. This doesn't mean that I tell my husband no, or deny my baby her tylenol. This doesn't mean that I don't know how medications work. This doesn't mean that I think people who take medications are weak/stupid/uneducated. This doesn't mean I disrespect modern medicine. Most importantly, this doesn't mean that I will refuse my patients medication as a nurse.

I recently got into a huge arguement with someone in my career about this. Okay, it was more like an attack on my entire belief of medications. Here are some direct quotes: "How will you ever be a real nurse if you don't believe in using medication?" "What are you going to do when your patients are in pain, tell them to not eat meat and suck it up?" "So you're willing to let people pump pitocen through your veins, so you're wirthing around like a freak, but you won't take something to help you feel better?"

This 15 minute period of my life was horrifying. I was attacked on my personal beliefs on medications, on the sucess I will have in my career, on being a vegetarian, and on the way I chose to give birth. It was insane. I guess we all have our different opinions on everything under the sun. and I believe in respecting everyone in their beliefs.

As a nurse, I promise to believe that your pain is what you say it is. I promise to give you your medication accordingly, and to advocate for you in terms of more medication, in dosage or quantity, if it is insufficent to manage your pain. I promise to accept your refusal of medication, and help you find other ways to cope. I promise that I will be as cuturally competent as I can. I promise that I will listen to you, and respect what you have to say, and support you in your decisions.

As I would hope my nurses do the same for me.

Monday, November 12, 2012

her hands

I love lazy mornings in bed with my family.
amelia is in an incredibly curious phase of her development lately
and I adore watching her desire to touch and discover new things.
I love her perfect little hands
developing fine motor skills,
she feel the coarseness her dad's beard
and marvel in its difference from his clothes
or his skin.
or when she is staring down at the two of us,
one hand on dad's face and one hand in mom's mouth,
looking at both of us
and giggling tremendously.
it's the perfect time in the day for this kind of gentle adventure,
because she is still cuddly
and delights in giving slobbery kisses
or being attacked on both cheeks with dozens and dozens of kisses from the two people who love her most.

these moments pass by too fast.
it's a constant struggle to be excited for her growth and to be heartbroken about its speed.
four days past five months.
I'm holding my breath.

Thursday, November 8, 2012

registration for the last time.

i'm a pretty excitable person, i would say.

for our last semester of nursing,
we are required an approved upper-level elective.
our options are:
critical care, medical spanish, and gerontology.
not that i hate gerontology, but it's not my field of passion. though easy 'a' sounds tempting.
not that i'm an expert, but i've taken four years of spanish. plus it is a 330-630 pm course, meaning i wouldn't get home until 8 pm on wednesday nights. capital h no- i'm way too old for that.
that leaves me with critical care.
2 hours.
with the infamous monte roberts.
perfect for an aspiring labor and delivery nurse, am i right?

too bad everyone and their grandma and their grandma's dog wants to be in that class.
and too bad the course capped at 20 students.
the course was full before i even had a chance to look at registration.
heartbroken. and annoyed.
austin and i are raving about it together.

fast forward to today.
monte mass-emails all 65 of us he's opening 5 more spots. oh, just sometime today.
freaking. out.
austin is next to me on his laptop refreshing the registration page every 5 seconds.
midway during a break, he whispers
registration is open. 2 spots left.

OH. kay.
calm down.
i log in to my cis. try to sign up for the course.
"you have a time conflict. please drop your spanish coursë."
dang. that's what i get for trying to be prepared.
my hands are shaking so bad i can't proceed.
austin takes over.
i think he tries dropping my spanish course like fifty times with his stupid slow computer.
and somehow registration keeps rejecting me "due to time conflict."
meanwhile my good friend alicia is registering behind me.
meanwhile mikyla is whispering "so and so is back there on his computer trying to register too."
two spots left. three people registering. i am freaking out.
hurry hurry hurry hurry hurry hurry hurry hurry hurry
probably the most annoying thing austin has to hear when he's trying to help me out.

then i see it.
you have successfully registered for this course.

i literally jump up from my seat
throw my arms in the air
my heart was racing. serious as a heart attack.

alicia got in too.
we took the last two slots.

good thing i still have the thrill of college registration to keep me young, right?

i am grateful for all my luck this past year.
these have been life-defining, life-changing crossroads for me.
getting in the critical care class,
getting in the maternity clinical,
...getting pregnant.

lucky me.
so grateful.


Monday, November 5, 2012


this is my Amelia.
all day all night
not crying
just yelling.
it must be because we're not giving her enough attention.
couldn't be the teething.

Friday, November 2, 2012

all hallow's eve

not sure I've ever loved a Halloween as much as this year's.
we were fred, wilma, and pebbles flintstone!
enjoy some photographs of our festivities:
this was at our ward halloween party,
the week before the actual holiday.
aren't we the cutest?!
Jeremy even put on his costume without a fight!
Amelia was a little in shock with the chaos,
and we had to leave early.
but we did win a yummy apple pie from the young men/young women's auction!

the following Sunday we carved our pumpkins that we grew from our love garden.
Amelia jabbered the whole time we were carving;
she was so interested in what was going on!
this was the first year I carved my own pumpkin start to finish,
and I smoked Jer on time!
oh ps. we're wearing matching shirts from the spooky 5k the college of nursing hosted!

here we are on acutal halloween night.
Jer did make me beg a little before putting on his costume this time...
we went trick-or-treating at ah-ma and ah-gong's house
before heading over to the party at grandma and grandpa bodtchers'!
they fed us dinner...

and we played some games!!!
(have you seen "just go with it"?)
these pictures look a little inappropriate,
but jeremy and I kinda had a height disadvantage on everyone!
here is a group picture of the costume participants.
thanks for such a fun night, everyone!
a note on the costumes:

I started on Jeremy's costume early this summer (before Amelia was born),
everyone thought I was crazy for starting so early,
but you know me... can't procrastinate!
it was some intense sewing by hand!!

see what I have to put up with?
I did start on Amelia's costume a little later,
because I had no idea how big she would be in October
(she was still wearing newborn sizes in September!)

and my cute mom made my white dress.
and this, is actually intense.
and legit. because I will we re-wearing this dress often.
Jeremy says it looks like a wedding dress... ha!
so glad we dressed up as a family,
Amelia will appreciate this when she's a bit older (I hope).
last year for halloween,
we moved our giant brown couches in our new home,
and only a handful of people knew I was pregnant!
this is my favorite time of the year...
when all the holidays creeping up on top of each other!
so excited for Amelia's first thanksgiving and first christmas!