38

didn't think we'd make it,

but I guess we did.

I've been spending my days in lounge wear,

and wondering what I'm forgetting.

(I must be forgetting something if she's not here yet).

all the while, still walking and walking.

we had an intense night on memorial day.

2 hours of contractions:

3 minutes apart, lasting for an average of a minute each.

almost went into the hospital,

but decided to take a bath first.

BAM. contractions just stopped.

haven't had anything patterned since then.

my wednesday checkup confirmed that I'm still making progress,

but my hopes of her coming this weekend are definitely diminishing.

in the meantime,

my legs and hands are still swelling,

my stretchmarks are growing,

my patience wears thinner and thinner as it grows hotter and hotter,

and I've been filling my time with idle crafts around the house.

one of these days we'll get to meet miss amelia.

one of these days, I will be a mommy.

37

dear amelia ray,

we made it to full term!

this means you should come out to meet me, and daddy, and everyone else who loves you!

hopefully this is the last week to week update. :)

we had a doctor's appointment on monday

I was dilated to a 2 and 70 percent effaced!

we are progressing so well!

dr. thackery says that he will check us again next wednesday, "if you don't come before then!"

honestly, I was hoping you would come out thursday night

(we were having some patterned contractions out here!)

but now you have to stay in for the weekend,

because dr. thackery is on memorial weekend vacation!!!

ahhhhhck!!

your daddy has been grateful for every extra day you stay in,

since he's been frantically trying to finish our painting project.

he works so hard because he loves you.

he's even letting your grandparents come to help him on memorial day!

we're also having some panicky dreams out here.

our birth plan is to just have daddy and I present for your birth,

the last couple of nights I've been dreaming of literally everyone coming to visit during labor.

extended family, friends, strangers I meet at the store

your dad has woken up to me screaming "seriously!! get out of my room!!!"

and everyone will just have conversations over me!

it's giving me anxiety, darling.

this week when your dad was soothing you in our bed,

you kicked his hand three times hard.

"three times for i love you"

we are so ready to hold you and kiss you and love you.

xo,

mommy

36

well here we are at week 36.

I have this baby app on my phone

I remember when i was at week 12

and I would always scroll down to week 36 and just laugh at how far away that seemed.

and now my baby is the size of a crenshaw melon.

baby amelia is moving all the time.

and I'm still doing pretty well with sleeping through the night.

(bizzare, right?)

I'm really not complaining, I promise!

It could just be the exhaustion...

Jeremy told me that last night he came to bed

(when I was already asleep)

and put his hand on my belly

and she was just moving around like crazy for about a 1/2 hour!

and I didn't wake up ha!

speaking of exhaustion,

things are a lot bigger of a deal when you're tired.

trust me:

when in doubt, go take a nap.

this morning I had a dream

that Jeremy went behind my back and found an adoption agency for our baby!

I was furious!

and he had gotten called out to work so I didn't even get to yell when I woke up.

oh, but he got to hear about it when he got home...

turns out he had the same dream about me earlier this week.

bring on the bizzare dreams, i guess!

speaking of dreams,

I dream about labor, pretty much every night.

I don't think you can feel actual pain in dreams...

but it's always so realistic,

the panic, the breathlessness, the contractions, the timing

and I wake up sweating

right before I get to hold her.

it's so frustrating, but I can't help but be more and more excited!

she could come today, and I would be thrilled.

Jeremy's still trying to get me to quit my job.

he's always threatening to call my boss up himself

(he use to work there, so he's kinda got the in's)

my poor husband thinks I'm never going to quit

and just secretly go back right after I have the baby.

haha!

I guess I would think too that if I was married to me.

we've got a busy schedule for this coming week:

daddy's birfday

1st every week appt

last baby shower with jer's work

maternity pictures

family wedding

before we know it, it'll be week 37!

that's full term, baby!

35

dear amelia ray,

everyday brings us closer and closer together.

which is strange, because there is nothing except a placenta between us.

it's finally may,

we've made it through school

and now it's just the waiting game.

we've enjoyed some pleasant days off together...

kind of.

I don't like sitting still,

and you don't either, it seems.

we're also a little too uncomfortable to be patient enough with delicate crafts

and running errands seem to get us way too winded.

your kicks are becoming quite painful,

and I feel like we both agree you're running out of womb. :)

stretch marks are growing too.

bigger, and in other areas of my body.

the only thing we've been really enjoying is gwackamoley.

kind of, again.

we first had it at aunt collette's graduation party...

ate ourselves sick.

and your uncle travis insists on making more "for his niece"

we're spoiled.

except I have no self-control,

and I've had gwack 4 different times in the last week.

and your daddy thinks we need to take it easy (as if)

I guess it won't take you long to figure out who the real adult is out here.

on wednesday,

we oriented the new accelerated program for nursing school

(part of student government duties)

those kids are on top of the game!

the college of nursing has an official stance on no working while in the program,

and they unoffically tack on, don't get married, and don't have a baby in the program.

oh man, we dropped the ball on some of those, didn't we?

always rebelling, you'll get that from me.

your aunt collette also threw us a gorgeous shower on friday,

because she already loves you so much!

but more on that (with pictures too!) later.

remember how I said we were ready for you in week 34?

well this week I washed all your 0-3 months clothes

and packed our hospital bag

and thought about putting in your carseat base.

baby steps.

we're still getting ready, it seems.

mother's day is just around the corner

and I can't help but think of all life lessons I want to teach you,

and the little things too:

I hope you love yourself for the beauty you have on the inside.

and I hope you will know you are beautiful on the outside (without makeup) too.

truly.

I hope you respect others and respect yourself.

I hope you have the work ethic of your grandparents.

I hope you have the sense of humor to laugh into your old age.

I hope you can't wait to tell me about all your dates, ridiculous ones and wonderful ones.

I hope you find a husband that treats you like your father treats me.

I hope you have children of your own.

I hope for great things for you,

like I've never dreamed for myself.

I hope you get everything you want in life.

and I hope you know how much I love you.

and that you make me a better person, constantly.

and I love myself more, since you've come into existance.

dr. thackery only lets his patients carry their babies 1 week past their due date.

so that's it:

6 weeks tops.

and we've got so much longer together,

so really, what's the rush?

I keep telling myself anyway...

34

so guess what?

babies born between 34 and 37 weeks generally do as well as full term babies.

so we're ready!

I've only gained 3 lbs in the last month,

which is nuts for the last trimester (I gained 6-8 in my first tri)

but my uterus is still measuring perfectly, so we're all good.

5/7 nights this week,

i didn't get out of bed once.

crazy again?

perfect and so convenient for finals week!

amelia is already so smart and so thoughtful and so good to me!

also, congrats to aunt collette for graduating college!!

in two weeks, we have our last every 2 week appointment

where how dilated my cervix will be measured.

and then we will start every week appointments.

can't wait.

i love you amelia ray!

33

i can't believe another week has flown by.

I feel like this whole pregnancy has gone by so fast,

and it has finally started to slow down this week.

this week has probably been the longest.

also, the most achey, painful sleep-deprived, emotional, and hardest.

Amelia has grown so much, I can feel her in three places at once now.

and she throws crazy fits and tantrums

jeremy bends down right to my tummy and sternly says, "be nice to your mother!"

sometimes she listens,

but most of the time she just kicks harder.

and jeremy cracks up.

really? this is how we are disciplining our children?

everyone already knows that baby girl has him wrapped around her finger.

I also had a few contractions this week.

they're pretty rough.

I laughed at myself for considering childbirth without pain medication.

still, I'm sticking to my plan.

laugh all you want!!

stretch marks also showed up this week.

they're at the bottom of my belly, and also at the top of my thighs.

I was a little devastated

but my friend miriam said,

"mommy badges of honor is what they are! wear them proudly, only we get this privledge!"

very true.

and my sweet baby has been so healthy and growing so perfectly,

i would take stretch marks any day for that.

i've also been really grateful for the position i'm in to be able to support her.

not only are jeremy and i in a safe place financially,

we just bought our home,

we live in a safe neighborhood

i'm one year from graduating,

we have such a great support system in our family and friends.

and we're married and in love.

we are so lucky to have all of these things so we can give the very best to her.

i feel so blessed that I don't feel the I have to compromise the best for her because we weren't ready.

and i am also so thankful that we have had 9 months to get ready for her. :)

I know the next 7 weeks will fly by fast.

everyone has also told me the last weeks are the hardest.

I'm trying to stay positive and focus on how much I love feeling her move.

even though we are all so excited for her to get here,

I'm sure part of me will miss it so badly after I give birth.

until then,

i'm living for her next kick.

32

and a half.

yup, today is the last day I have to wear these scrubs until september. and then i will have a 3 month old!

these few days, i've just been a little crazy.

like the other day, I actually slept the entire night, without waking up to readjust, waking up to pee, waking up from cramping and not being able to breathe. I woke up and, for a second, thought maybe I had dreamt this entire pregnancy! and then i sat up and felt how heavy my front was and remembered. and smiled, because i do love being pregnant and carrying my sweet daughter around.

and then last night, i was exhausted, and i woke up every hour, and had such a hard time falling asleep. i hurt, i cramped, i cried, my nose got stuffy, my mouth was super dry, i couldn't breathe, etc. I probably slept for a total of 3 hours before getting up at 7 am to study for finals.

 

 

or like how the roles were switched on sunday morning, and jeremy was exhausted and i was wide awake. I bellowed the star spangled banner in attempt to wake him up (...may have forgotten a few words...). I was interrupted by his alarm, which he took his chance to mumble "give me ten more minutes" and rolled over away from me. "but you didn't even let me finish singing to you!!!" I protested. needless to say, i was a little huffy.

or when I was driving (i have no idea why?) and jeremy says, "babe, 50 is just the recommended speed limit."
I get a little defensive and say: "i'm already going 10 over!"
"well I usually go 70 around here"
silence
finally, i snapped, "well I don't remind you the speed limit and try to change your driving habits, so leave me alone!"
jeremy has taken back the driving role lately.


regardless, things are going great with amelia. she likes to remind me that she is in charge, like i could ever forget. we had our first every 2 week visit- I somehow didn't gain any weight, but my uterus is exactly 32 cm. perfect.
still can't wait for june 16th.
but i may or may not have a plan for the second she turns 37 weeks. :)


xoxo.

31

it's pretty awesome that I get at least one stranger everyday asking me when I'm due.

still a little taken aback though,

just the concept that I'm big enough for everyone to "know for sure"

i always want to psych people out and say, "no, i'm not pregnant... do i look like i'm pregnant?"

just because I think that would be hilarious to see their reaction, ya know?

but I'm always far to excited/flushing with pride/happy that someone asked to remember.

one of these days,

I'm going to mortify some poor soul. :)

i'm loving the attention, and i love feeling her grow;

good comes with bad though.

i'm pretty sensitive to some comments, even though i try to laugh them off.

a nurse at my work said to me,

"you're looking pretty edematous... in your face, and in your hands"

I just gawked at him.

in my head: I'm in nursing school, I know what you really mean!!!!!

(edematous= swelling)

wth?

who says that?

and then poor jeremy has to stand by and let me buy another outfit to make myself feel better.

don't worry, I'm a bargain shopper :)

the best part of 31 weeks is that Jeremy can FINALLY feel everything I'm feeling

every kick, every roll, every push

he actually thinks, "wow, she's moving a lot lately."

um no.

she's just big enough for you to actually feel now.

she's been pretty active from the very beginning. :)

stubborn, with attitude.

sleep: what sleep?

I haven't slept the whole night for a while

it's fine, I take naps

or zone out in phases of exhaustion during the day.

sometimes you can catch me when i'm giggly,

plenty of other times, i'm pretty grouchy.

my house is a giant mess.

part from lack of habitual cleaning,

part from a million half-started crafts I can't complete until school is over,

part from our frantic remodeling before the baby comes.

(ps. master bedroom is now a beautifully painted green :D )

yes, with a capital D smiley face :D

another great thing about 31 weeks

is that we have another doc. appointment this friday!

remember how I mentioned we're down to every two weeks?

we have 3 of these,

and then we're down to every weeks-

only 4 of those!

and that's if our babe doesn't come early!!

isn't that amazing?

ps. diabetes screening= negative

iron test results= not so bright.

but we'll survive. :)

pps. remember how I totally lost nursing school SAC elections last semester

and was totally disappointed,

but pretended I didn't care all that much?

yeah, meet the new VP for 2012-2013.

thaaaaaaaat's right.

me.

:D

30

dear amelia ray bodtcher,

30 weeks means you're only 10 weeks away from being in my arms.

you are already spoiled

by everyone

and I love feeling your summersaults inside me.

at our last doctor's appointment

my uterus was 30 cm, perfect for you how far along we are!

we also took the diaBETES test!

that orange drink that made us sick?

yeah it's not good stuff.

I did eat 3 cookies right before though...

we might be in trouble if our blood test comes back positive.

haha!!

(I know, I'm already the psycho mom that you'll have to babysit)

things are going great out here.

we've only got 2.5 weeks of class and 3 finals left.

and then it's all YOU time.

I'm so excited to nest your nursery!

I love you a million times

and we all can't wait for you to get here.

the big question

it's in a parent's instinct to protect their baby.

it's natural to desire it to your very core that they never feel pain, or hurt, or devastation, or despair, or anything aside from safe and happy.

and she will fight it with all her might to be independent.

she'll fight you kicking and screaming to get hurt.

she'll go behind your back, when you're not watching and you can't possibly protect her,

and she'll fall.

and she'll cry.

and that pain will be the most unbearble moment of your life.

you will be heartbroken for her.

you will comfort her and tell her big girls don't cry.

and she'll get up, and now she's stronger because she fell.

she's learning from falling.

she's learning from crying, and getting hurt.

so the question is,

how much do you let her fall?

and how badly do you let her fall?

because, does she really have to learn on her own?

from her own experience?

how do you teach her that it's important to get a great gpa, but also to learn.

how can you teach her to be a leader, and set high standards and life goals for herself?

how do you teach her that grade school isn't everything, that there's more to that little bubble of high school popularity; that things that seem so very important right now, won't be?

how do you teach her that some boys are pigs, and she can say no?

and that if she doesn't say no the first time, she doesn't have to keep saying yes?

how do you teach her that she can have fun, but marijuana and alcohol won't get you too far in life?

how can you teach all of this, before she is heartbroken beyond repair?

how do you raise a child right, before they are grown into adulthood and set in their ways?

I've seen some heartbreaking things in my life,

and I don't know how to hide my daughter from them.

go ahead and say it,

i've got years before I have to worry.

but these 9 months have been speeding by

before I know it, baby amelia surprising me with her pregnancy announcement.

and i hope she won't be able to wait, because she's bursting with anticipation.

...just have to figure out the answer to my big question(s).

28

third trimester

we're finally here.

I've been loving all the extra movements.

two pokes in different places at the same time,

hard "notice me" kicks,

rolls and rumbles,

today, I felt one at the bottom of my tummy

poke out kicking my leg!

they are getting crazy!

sometimes I'm still surprised when she kicks.

sometimes I get really nauseous and exhausted.

most the time I can't make it through the day without wanting a nap.

I force myself to make it through it though.

Amelia Ray definitely commands attention.

it's alright though.

I like her attitude :)

I've read a bunch of different birth stories lately

I cry through most of them, don't worry.

it's a beautiful thing

I'm really excited.

out of my mind excited.

love that moment that I will get to hold her.

thinking about all the things I hope to be feeling gives me chills.

we've got some goals for the end of this week:

order the crib! (yes, we know which one we want, just been having some issues)

get started on our will (yes, we are writing one before the baby comes)

work on the nursery some more (yes, there's still a lot to do with our painted walls)

love each other (but that's an easy one)

also, I have another baby appointment next friday!

our last every-four-weeks appt. (then we're moving on to every 2!)

and also the big gestational diabetes test!

my doc is great about making everything chillax.

All I can think about is... less than 2 weeks til the 30 week mark

then I'm already 3/4ths the way there!

this is incredible.

whaddya do?

27

week 27, also the last week of the second trimester!

things are still looking up these days

I've been doing trial and error with cushioning and sleeping comfortably.

for a while I was just sleeping on my back because that was the only way I could avoid cramping.

but now I realize I just need to be sleeping on top of a pillow.

not with it just supporting my belly or back,

but balancing in the center.

i had a terrible raging headache all day on friday and went to bed at 7.

10 hours of sleep!

it was marvelous, and I'm sure everyone appreciated it (esp. Jeremy)

we also went to see the Lorax this weekend. :)

we are so excited to have a little nugget so we don't feel like weirdos going to see kid movies.

it was wonderful! I love dr. seuss

and the morals in his wacky rhymes.

I pretty much want to buy all of his books for my babies!

so the picture of me above may or may not be in our painted nursery!

we're still awaiting the tree and the furniture and decor,

but I will surely post pictures in due time.

it is so beautiful!! :)

it has been SUCH a long haul,

since my husband is such a perfectionist when it comes to anything permanant on our house.

I can't wait to buy our crib!!!!

...I guess amelia's crib...

one thing I've realized about myself is how much I am changing.

I'm really trying to not say the word "hate,"

I keep thinking that somehow I'll be able to prevent my children from experiencing that emotion.

I'm sorely disappointed if the kids I teach aren't enthusiastic about the lesson I teach,

but I'm learning to approach teaching in different ways.

I'm more conscientious of the way I communicate with my husband,

if I tell him i love him enough, if I thank him enough, if i flirt with him enough.

if I'm really mad at him, or the situation, or at just the whole day.

I'm always checking my actions,

and wondering if I could explain my decisions to my baby.

if my decisions were the right ones, and if not, how could I possibly expect her to make right decisions herself if I'm not an example.

cognitive dissonance really spikes when you're considering your children.

I'm considering how I leave the world

what legacy will my children remember?

will I be the ornery perfectionist of a mother who had so many expectations

or will I be the kind of mother they could always count on and talk to about anything?

there's a million things that run through my head

that I would have never thought about a year ago.

when I was five, I was scared to ever be someone's mother.

I always thought that if someone broke into my house and we had to get away from the "bad guy"

I wouldn't be brave enough to protect my children,

which meant i didn't love my children enough.

and I wondered how anyone could ever be brave enough for something like that.

and now I am!

I think about how I would die for my kids.

I wake up in the middle of the night and cry thinking about losing them.

I cry thinking about their graduations, and missions, and wedding days.

I am more and more prepared for labor and delivery.

for the beautiful moment that I get to hold my daughter in my arms.

I think about if she can feel all my moods right now.

i think about what she's thinking about.

and all in 27 weeks.

and I wonder how much I will change in 13 more

aside from being more round.

in other note,

my belly button is pretty much an outie now!

26

this week we had another doctor's appointment,

which of course went well.

amelia's measuring right up to size, with my uterus at 26 cm- right on the money.

her heartbeat is just as crazy as usual, which is perfect.

the medical assistant reweighed me after I begged to take off my jacket,

yeah I was two pounds lighter!

the doc says I can keep exercising, and recommended water aerobics. ha!

so I braved it up this weekend, tried on my swimsuit, and got in a pool.

I loved the sun in st. george, and so did my baby.

I think we could have stayed there for the rest of the pregnancy.

this week is spring break,

to which I have high hopes of getting ahead of the game in terms of school and nesting.

not sure if school will happen, but I will try.

and Jeremy has the baby room mudded, sanded and ready for paint!

(the paint has been sitting on my kitchen island for a couple of weeks now haha)

our base color is brown,

which means the the molding and ceiling will have to be repainted as well.

my wonderful friend/sister/kindred spirit Collette is going to help me with the detail painting

since she has artistic skill, and I do not.

I'm so excited to get it finished so we can start adding furniture!!

I can't believe my baby is 26 weeks old.

we've got under 14 to go.

that's only a little over 3 months

1 week of break

6 weeks of school

1 week of finals

and 6 weeks of waiting...

2 weddings to attend, maternity pictures, nesting, being enormous.

labor

and then my life is forever changed.

how brilliant is that?

25

week 25- that's 5/8ths of the way there.

to be honest,

my moods have been kind of out of control this week.

things that use to bother me, bother me an infinite amount more.

and pretending that they don't bother me (so I don't explode as the "crazy pregnant woman") has been much harder than it ever was.

sometimes I just feel like I'm pushed to breaking point

and I tell myself it's not a big deal, it's not a big deal, it's not a big deal

and I just can't stop crying.

it's a good thing I have a sweet husband that will listen to me cry about riduculous things.

these days I have been trying to keep it together by:

listening to old songs on repeat

cleaning my house and talking to myself and the baby

trying not to eat whenever I am bored (I'm at a weight gain of 21 lbs)

making lists that help me remember my life

dreaming up ideas to decorate my home with (including the nursery)

counting down the days til spring break (that's 3 days people! and I don't work this weekend either!)

it's been a week of firsts too:

first time someone told me I look big for how far along I am

I guess I just assumed you keep your opinons to yourself when you're talking to a pregnant woman,

but apparently someone thinks I am due next month because I am soooooooooo big!

(don't worry guys, I already got tons of reassurance from Jeremy that I look fine.)

first car bought as a married unit

if you know the bodtchers, they will talk about buying something and research the crap out of it and tell everyone about it for months and months (maybe years) before it actually happens.

my husband is no different- we've been talking about getting a prius since last summer,

we've gotten approved for a loan, we've test-drove many different priuses...

it's been a long haul.

we finally purchased one last Thursday!

it's dark grey, has leather heated seats, tinted windows, and it's just a beauty.

congrats to us!

first thread of kicks for daddy

Jer has felt a few kicks here and there, but it's kind of frustrating for him when he can't feel all of them.

the other day amelia was kicking up a storm (typical) and jeremy got to feel a huge thread of kicks all at once.

"she's going crazy in there! she's on crack!!!! it's all the sugar you've been eating!!"

probably true. but she really kicks like crazy all the time.

so glad she is big enough that someone else can feel her too. :)

first Sunday without my Jeremy

first sunday in a while I guess.

everybody has these once in a while, but I just hate going to church without my husband.

Jeremy has been training for on-call for weekends at work

so hopefully we can work out our scheduling when I go back to school next August.

and he's so great for having already worked 7 days straight (with another 4 more to go this week)

without complaining at all.

"you girls are welcome. I will do anything for you two"

but I hate it all the same.

and it didn't help that this lady my size told me that both her kids were 10-pounders.

holy cow, I am out of my mind terrified!

bargaining: 7.5 lbs tops. please!

and also, sorry to everybody who has been feeling like I am avoiding them lately.

I promise it's not just you.

xo

{22.23.24}

dear amelia ray,

the last 3 weeks have been just the tiniest bit havoc.

for week 22,

your daddy and i celebrated valentines day early,

and talked about how next year we're going to bring you to park city with us

and build a cute snowman family.

we talked about how there is only 4 months left before you get here,

and how beautiful and sweet you will be.

we talked about me not working so hard because of how it affects you.

we talked about how much we love you.

That was the week where I was on my feet for 48 hours and almost passed out doing wound care.

That was the week your aunt denise came by and dropped off adorable clothes and lots of baby items for you.

I think you heard aliya crying too- you'll already have a friend waiting for you when you get here.

That was the week we had your doctor's appointment, finding out you measuring up to size with perfectly growing organs.

for week 23,

we went to a baby's blessing for your second cousin, brendan.

I think people are starting to notice how much I eat, and I really don't mind too much (since I don't feel you complaining...)

I had a rather easy week in terms of school scheduling,

but we studied for a massive exam together.

(yes, I know it was you making me exhausted everytime I read out loud to you.)

turns out, we make a pretty amazing team- scores we posted, we did great.

Your aunts and I had a girls night, we each brought an item for dinner (some prepared more than others... ie. I slaved an entire afternoon for delicous breadsticks, and also found olive garden bags to bring them in...). we watched "food, inc," which was an amazing documentary, and discussed public schools polices that made me nervous on how to raise you.

your dad had a "boy's night" with your uncles. planned last minute, of course. they had dinner, and watched... gold mine?

This was the week that I lost confidence after I missed 2 iv's (in a plastic arm).

This was the week your aunt emily and her girls came to visit.

This is the week that I watched 4 episodes of a certain show instead of studying.

week 24, has just barely started...

but like always, you and i are busy busy busy.

this week I found out that I will probably not be getting a good night's rest for the next four months.

so far, i have been waking up every hour, every night to readjust because of cramping,

i have had massive headaches,

your kicks are stronger than ever.

(and your dad is sooooo excited he got to feel some of them).

your dad and I spoke in sacrament meeting this sunday.

(sorry for the hyperventilating and tachycardia).

I got to share my testimony to a big group of people for the first time since my baptism almost 2 years ago.

and your daddy shared about how much he loves you and wishes you'd get here sooner.

he loves you so much he sang three different primary songs to you last night.

it was a pretty great sunday.

don't you ever forget how loved you are.

xoxo,

mommy.

21

sweet 21.
eating like crazy. on my feet everyday like crazy. exhausted like crazy. eager to hold my girl.
Jeremy wants to get me some "maternity stockings" aka ted hose, to help with my venous return. Which is so sweet and thoughtful since I spend 2 nine-hour days at the hospital and 2 eight-hour days at work a week.
anyways, super excited for and looking forward to another doc appt. this friday, and we are celebrating v-day early this saturday!!
I've made two dinners in the last week, and that might not sound impressive... but it IS!
I'm in an excellent mood as I type and that's about all I have to report! ;)

How far along? 21 weeks

Total weight gain: 16 pounds. I debated about sharing this, but why not? it's out in the open now, and my excellent mood isn't going to let me stress over it.

Maternity clothes? maternity shirts, and I can still proudly wear my skinny jeans without alterations!!! but since I have work/clinicals so much, I'm always just wearing scrubs.

Stretch marks? nope!

Sleep: sometimes great, sometimes achy.

Best moment this week: feeling my babe kick constantly and being able to sleep!
Miss Anything? being able to stand up like a normal person haha.
Movement:  oh yes.

Food cravings: not much lately... except maybe zupas!!
Anything making you queasy or sick: nothing in specific, it just kinda comes on at random times!

Gender: girl. :)
Labor Signs: nope!

Symptoms: just getting bigger, back and lower belly cramps, exhaustion, etc.

Belly Button in or out? in (barely though!!)
Wedding rings on or off? on
Happy or Moody most of the time: happy!
Looking forward to: summer!!!

20

dear amelia ray,

today is the last day of our week 20, so I figured I better blog about it. amazing, right? twenty weeks! You are just creating a new definition of love all by yourself. I can barely stand it bursting between us. I can feel you kick on a daily basis now. On Monday, you wouldn't stop. I was volunteering at the Family Support Center and I could just feel your thump... thump... thump... it didn't matter if I was sitting down or moving around. you are just a kicker! and I can just tell you love waking up at 4:30 am with me, I just imagine you being furious with all kicking in there. sorry babe, momma's gotta go to clinicals and prove to you how important a college education is.

Here's the two of us. it makes me a little nervous to see how fast you are growing! (or how fast I am growing). We had our 20 week ultrasound this week, and aren't a perfect little angel?

I thought for sure my favorite part was going to be seeing your heart again. (just look at those 4 beautifully beating chambers!!!!)

but in the end... it had to be you just slowly opening your mouth. You were quite the stubborn one (took after your daddy), head in my bladder, not moving and hiding your face behind your arms the entire ultrasound... so glad you came around. being there just holding your dad's hand and seeing you grow so big easily made my month. easily.

ps. if I didn't mention that you are loved? you are!

your Aunt Melissa Ann brought over that cute elephant picture frame just for you. no words, except... you are loved! and your daddy bought us those beautiful long-stemmed pink roses. :)

Your grandma Bodtcher and aunt melissa jane bought these outfits for you to come home in. the one I am holding has elephants  all over and reads "I love mommy" (because you sure do!) and that one that your dad is holding says "daddy's little princess." it's perfect because he always calls me "princess" when he thinks I'm acting "spoiled," which I'm sure you'll inherit from me. :) you little princess!

isn't that just the cutest Sunday outfit you ever did see? You are going to be the best dressed baby in the universe! I have these hanging up in the kitchen to remind me of you everyday. I just cry thinking of you being big enough to fill these clothes!!!

You are just my favorite! and I love you so so so much. forever and ever and always.