Tuesday, August 21, 2012
first day of school
and I may or may not be already cracking under the pressure. Maybe I should just quit before I implode.
Saturday, August 18, 2012
communication is key
maybe every mommy thinks so, but I truly believe my daughter communicates with me:
when I tell her thank you for being such a good girl and sleeping through the night, she grins at me.
when I ask her if she's going to help me fold daddy's laundry when she's older, she scowls.
when I ask her if she's going to keep spitting up everytime she eats, she smirks.
when she's constipated, she makes her "uh oh" face.
when I attack her with kisses, she makes her "mom, you're embarassing me face"
when she knows I'm exhausted, she tries to wriggle less when we're cuddling.
when I don't feed her at exactly 3 hours, she reminds me.
when we play, she gives me her "I love you" smile.
when I ask her if she likes something, she grunts.
when I try to wipe her nose, and I win, she glares at me.
when we meet a new boy she likes, she'll grin for hours.
sometimes when I talk too much, she'll fall asleep.
when I tell her how cute she is, she gives me her "I know" face.
I love my baby girl!
I'm so glad she is so expressive and our days are never boring.
Monday, August 6, 2012
sleep routines.
amelia's been sleeping through the night lately. 6 out of 7 nights last week, to be exact.
I never thought I'd get here.
it's hard to believe that I was once waking up every other hour for 40 minutes at a time.
slowly, the feedings got shorter, and the time in between the feedings got longer.
for a while now, I have been only getting up once a night. only about 10, 15 minutes though.
millie's dropped that feeding a couple times before. but not this consistently.
and she only reverted back once, but that night we didn't give her a bath, per routine.
is it weird I miss it? a little?
I feed her at 6 in the morning before running. and she falls right back asleep.
no more soothing her, no more 5:30 am smiles.
but then she's staying awake during the day
and her naps are getting shorter and shorter.
we're still trying to figure out her naps so she's not so cranky.
and. she's getting so much more personalitiy.
i love it.
but her growing up is almost unbearable for me.
I never thought I'd get here.
it's hard to believe that I was once waking up every other hour for 40 minutes at a time.
slowly, the feedings got shorter, and the time in between the feedings got longer.
for a while now, I have been only getting up once a night. only about 10, 15 minutes though.
millie's dropped that feeding a couple times before. but not this consistently.
and she only reverted back once, but that night we didn't give her a bath, per routine.
is it weird I miss it? a little?
I feed her at 6 in the morning before running. and she falls right back asleep.
no more soothing her, no more 5:30 am smiles.
but then she's staying awake during the day
and her naps are getting shorter and shorter.
we're still trying to figure out her naps so she's not so cranky.
and. she's getting so much more personalitiy.
i love it.
but her growing up is almost unbearable for me.
our love garden, week 14
reaping what we sew, for real this time:
pumpkins are growing...
peppers are turning red...
and broccoli being chopped!!
this was only half of what we got off of two plants!
we gave some to my parents,
and used some for my famous buttered noodles
and check out these sweet babies.
oh, how I love our garden :)
happy summer :)
Monday, July 30, 2012
scapegoat
okay, so you know when you have a baby and the second they fall asleep you run around to make a meal and you scarf it down because she's going to cry at any moment in time? and then your stomach hurts, and you feel like you never want to eat a meal again?
so take that analogy and use it on running. same story. you previously enjoyed running, but now because at any moment in time your baby is going to start crying, so you're pretty much sprinting the entire 3 miles, just wanting it to end end end. and then your legs hurt, and you feel like you never want to run again? so you try running at 6:30 in the morning, when the hubby is still home- gives you enough time to run, stretch, and shower. um, still never want to run again.
guess it wasn't the baby's fault.
so take that analogy and use it on running. same story. you previously enjoyed running, but now because at any moment in time your baby is going to start crying, so you're pretty much sprinting the entire 3 miles, just wanting it to end end end. and then your legs hurt, and you feel like you never want to run again? so you try running at 6:30 in the morning, when the hubby is still home- gives you enough time to run, stretch, and shower. um, still never want to run again.
guess it wasn't the baby's fault.
Friday, July 20, 2012
some dissonance
for nursing school, I am required to obtain a TB skin test annually.
Amelia and I went in for my checkup this Wednesday.
In line, the woman ahead of me had darker skin, short hair, an accent that was foreign. She was dressed in a t shirt, loose pants, and had a cheap bag for a purse. the receptionist was bluntly telling her "well you are 40 minutes late for your appointment, so I doubt your doctor will see you." the receptionist is kind of ornery with this woman, and kind of works around her. She says, "well, even if the doctor can't see you, you still have to pay for this appointment. It was your fault that you were late. Oh, the computer also shows that you missed an appointment in April and in March, and that you failed to cancel 24 hours ahead of time, so you owe for those as well." The woman seems confused, and continues to wait patiently to see her doctor. finally the receptionist informs her that the doctor won't see her, but not before reminding her again that she was 40 minutes late. She walks out of the clinic without paying for her missed appointments. the receptionist rolls her eyes at me.
she then is much more courteous to me.
and then my heart breaks for this woman.
it's a strange feeling. I can completely empathize, because I felt like that woman was my parents my entire childhood.
Jeremy thinks I'm crazy for thinking so much. this encounter has been running over and over in my head. I can't sleep at night. what if she couldn't pay for those appointments? what if she has to work long hours, and that's why she missed her 2 other appointments? what if she didn't understand you had to cancel appointments, and maybe she thought that you could just walk in and see a doctor? what if she is sick, as she's obviously been trying to see a doctor, but she just can't get to a doctor?
on the spot, I realize how priviledged I am.
that my "man" didn't leave me when we found out I was pregnant,
that my daughter always has an adorable outfit on,
that my home is constantly under renovation,
that I drive a new, paid off truck.
that I know how the healthcare system works, so I understand I can dispute anything that is unfair.
that I can speak english fluently, enabling me to communicate effectively with few misunderstandings.
and I realize when I'm praying throughout the day, how few my struggles are.
and I am so thankful for that.
that my marriage is better than ever.
for financial security and a shelter to call home.
that I get to spend the summer watching my daughter grow.
I am grateful for a million things in my life.
there's just some cognitive dissonance when I encounter situations like these.
Amelia and I went in for my checkup this Wednesday.
In line, the woman ahead of me had darker skin, short hair, an accent that was foreign. She was dressed in a t shirt, loose pants, and had a cheap bag for a purse. the receptionist was bluntly telling her "well you are 40 minutes late for your appointment, so I doubt your doctor will see you." the receptionist is kind of ornery with this woman, and kind of works around her. She says, "well, even if the doctor can't see you, you still have to pay for this appointment. It was your fault that you were late. Oh, the computer also shows that you missed an appointment in April and in March, and that you failed to cancel 24 hours ahead of time, so you owe for those as well." The woman seems confused, and continues to wait patiently to see her doctor. finally the receptionist informs her that the doctor won't see her, but not before reminding her again that she was 40 minutes late. She walks out of the clinic without paying for her missed appointments. the receptionist rolls her eyes at me.
she then is much more courteous to me.
and then my heart breaks for this woman.
it's a strange feeling. I can completely empathize, because I felt like that woman was my parents my entire childhood.
Jeremy thinks I'm crazy for thinking so much. this encounter has been running over and over in my head. I can't sleep at night. what if she couldn't pay for those appointments? what if she has to work long hours, and that's why she missed her 2 other appointments? what if she didn't understand you had to cancel appointments, and maybe she thought that you could just walk in and see a doctor? what if she is sick, as she's obviously been trying to see a doctor, but she just can't get to a doctor?
on the spot, I realize how priviledged I am.
that my "man" didn't leave me when we found out I was pregnant,
that my daughter always has an adorable outfit on,
that my home is constantly under renovation,
that I drive a new, paid off truck.
that I know how the healthcare system works, so I understand I can dispute anything that is unfair.
that I can speak english fluently, enabling me to communicate effectively with few misunderstandings.
and I realize when I'm praying throughout the day, how few my struggles are.
and I am so thankful for that.
that my marriage is better than ever.
for financial security and a shelter to call home.
that I get to spend the summer watching my daughter grow.
I am grateful for a million things in my life.
there's just some cognitive dissonance when I encounter situations like these.
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