some dissonance

for nursing school, I am required to obtain a TB skin test annually.
Amelia and I went in for my checkup this Wednesday.

In line, the woman ahead of me had darker skin, short hair, an accent that was foreign. She was dressed in a t shirt, loose pants, and had a cheap bag for a purse. the receptionist was bluntly telling her "well you are 40 minutes late for your appointment, so I doubt your doctor will see you." the receptionist is kind of ornery with this woman, and kind of works around her. She says, "well, even if the doctor can't see you, you still have to pay for this appointment. It was your fault that you were late. Oh, the computer also shows that you missed an appointment in April and in March, and that you failed to cancel 24 hours ahead of time, so you owe for those as well." The woman seems confused, and continues to wait patiently to see her doctor. finally the receptionist informs her that the doctor won't see her, but not before reminding her again that she was 40 minutes late. She walks out of the clinic without paying for her missed appointments. the receptionist rolls her eyes at me.

she then is much more courteous to me.

and then my heart breaks for this woman.
it's a strange feeling. I can completely empathize, because I felt like that woman was my parents my entire childhood.
Jeremy thinks I'm crazy for thinking so much. this encounter has been running over and over in my head. I can't sleep at night. what if she couldn't pay for those appointments? what if she has to work long hours, and that's why she missed her 2 other appointments? what if she didn't understand you had to cancel appointments, and maybe she thought that you could just walk in and see a doctor? what if she is sick, as she's obviously been trying to see a doctor, but she just can't get to a doctor?

on the spot, I realize how priviledged I am.
that my "man" didn't leave me when we found out I was pregnant,
that my daughter always has an adorable outfit on,
that my home is constantly under renovation,
that I drive a new, paid off truck.
that I know how the healthcare system works, so I understand I can dispute anything that is unfair.
that I can speak english fluently, enabling me to communicate effectively with few misunderstandings.

and I realize when I'm praying throughout the day, how few my struggles are.
and I am so thankful for that.
that my marriage is better than ever.
for financial security and a shelter to call home.
that I get to spend the summer watching my daughter grow.
I am grateful for a million things in my life.

there's just some cognitive dissonance when I encounter situations like these.