surprise!

so......... if you haven't heard, I ran a marathon today!
I also blogged about it on my running blog.

the end!
xoxo

stress relievers

not sure if it's because something that's only suppose to last a week has now been dragged to over three weeks, but I've been having a rough few weeks.

for those who haven't heard, we didn't get the house mentioned in my previous post. Long story short, the lady who owned the house couldn't get into the house she wanted. good thing we wasted all our time negociating counteroffers and agreeing a price. sorry for jumping the gun everyone!!! we'll get there soon!

so with house hunting and finals (well just my one final, I guess) and work and my marathon training and other random stuff, I have had much more hair fall out than normal.

this weekend, however, my sweet husband took me on our first camping trip.

we did all the fun stuff and played games and slept in until there was sun outside. I turned my phone off and we hiked (a little). We set up our cute little tent and built a fire and cooked!! Good thing we have such good friends in the Piepers and had such a blast. I could go camping every weekend.

just estatic

we are a little excited...

because we are finally buying a home!!

under contract, we are!!!

this sweet little thing is going to be our first home of our own together

and I'm already decorating it up in my head.

congrats to us!

summertime had me a blast.

today I am content. and grateful for the blessings that surround me.

this summer has been the summer of growing up for me (though I'm quite sure there will be lots more after this summer). I've learned a lot about myself and how much I've grown. I've been humbled a couple of times. I've fallen in love quite a few times. I've done things I would have never imagine doing five years ago.

first, Jeremy and I are both working full time this summer. except he has a real job, and gets paid three times what I get paid. we're already an old couple! I start work at 6 most days, and try to finish my schoolwork and running before Jer gets home by 5. Our sleep schedules are off. It's the first time since we started dating that we don't see each other (or text each other) basically all day, everyday. It was a hard adjustment, and we're still learning to compromise. Jeremy comes to my work every wednesday morning (also working) and exercises with my residents. It's nice to get a little peak of what I feel in love with to begin with :) and of course, he always takes me out to lunch right after :) as hard as it can be being separated for what we never use to be separated for, I'm grateful I still get to sleep next to the love of my life every night. I'm grateful that we have financial stability and each other.

of course, there was our sealing at the beginning of summer. I'm just grateful we are so lucky to have temples everywhere nearby. I can't help but get excited about going every week. Preparing with scriptures and prayer and guidance definitely built my testimony immensely, and I'm so grateful for the opportunities.

something that has been humbling this summer is searching for our little home. So far, we have put offers on three different houses. One way or another, they have fallen through. and all very complicately. and all very frustratingly. I tell myself everytime we go house shopping that it will all be worth it by the end of summer. and here we are, end of july, I'm still telling myself to keep my hopes up, have faith. and I still believe. :) it will happen! and I will be posting cute pictures of our cute little home soon.

and then there's class. which isn't terrible at all, since I'm just taking one online class- the last one to finish up my psychology major. I'm SO excited to start nursing school this fall. I can't help but get a huge smile on my face everytime I think about it- I've been working towards and dreaming about this for three years! (I'm sure, when I start first semester I'll be super stressed and my hair will fall out again). Even better news: in June, I applied for a scholarship through the college of nursing without high hopes. I recently found out that I will be receiving full tuition reimbursement for the whole two years of nursing school (if I maintain a 3.2 gpa). it really couldn't have work out better. and I am so grateful that I have all these educational opportunities.

finally, the hardest thing I've put my body through (physically): running. Last Christmas, I was the heaviest I've ever been in my life. It took another 2-3 months before I finally got it together and decided to train for a half-marathon. I never cease to prove to myself that if you want something bad enough (and you work for it) and you get it. Yesterday night, I went on a "quick run." 9 miles later, I wasn't even phased. I feel my strongest and I'm so grateful for my health. In three and a half weeks I'm going to be running a marathon. I am so stoked! I seriously can't express to you how hard I've worked and trained for this event. Even if I don't get my goal time, I have still had the best experience these last six months training. (aug. 20th at park city around 11 if you want to watch me finish!)

it's been a great summer. i can already feel the aura of fall creeping in... and it'll be a great fall! if there's one thing I've learn this summer, it's to focus on the good. because life is good to us. :)

because I love emily vorwaller so much:

something: new, old, borrowed, blue

thanks to chase walker photography

& kale fitch films:

go here to see our temple highlights in film :)

every point defines to light and life and endless day

sometimes I wish I had a photographic memory.

but on days like this I have to blog to help me remember.

when you think of gardens in the bible, the two most likely to come to mind are Eden and Gethsemane. I love hearing stories of the garden of gethsemane, where Christ bled for us and suffered for us, as a mortal. He felt every pain we could ever feel in our lifetime so we could be sinless.

I'm grateful for the atonement and how it fits into the eternal plan. I am grateful for how much closer and personable our Savior seems because of it. I'm grateful for it's infiniteness and it's comfort.

"Adam fell that men might be, and men are, that they might have joy."

the fall of man happened in Eden
and in Gethsemane, our sins were suffered for.

can you even begin to imagine the atoning for every living thing in all worlds, throughout all of time?

I love sundays. :)

descansar

there's something about growing up that's really terrifying.

as a kid you don't think about that too often. you don't seem to want to stop growing. maybe because it's evolutionarily beneficial to want to grow until you're big and strong and then stop wanting it so you can understand the concept of aging.

I'm not sure where i'm going with this. really.

just that when i woke up this morning, and i was driving to work with the sun already rising, i couldn't stop thinking that i feel really old for nineteen. i've made myself do things i was scared of and i've done a couple things i regret. i've been the happiest i've ever been in my life, and also the saddest. i've touched people's lives and found inspiration where i couldn't have predicted. i rebelled and rebelled and did all the things that everyone said i couldn't. i've had my heart broken too many times and i've fallen in love with the my soulmate.

and this whole journey i've been running and running and just so sure of myself. i've been so confident that growing up was exactly what i wanted. and really, it was. i wouldn't trade under six hours of sleep every night my senior year or paying for my own college tuition/car/gas/insurance/cheer nationals/etc. or starving and driving around getting lost freshmen year for anything. except one thing, i guess- jeremy ray. and i guess i did.

i just never thought that i'd be here. stopped abruptly, and looking back.

a confession:
it's a cheerless sensation to say goodbye to the closest thing to your soul at five in the morning and not see him for twelve hours. it's a different life when you're no longer always texting, even when you're apart.

but i do love the homemade meals and doing the dishes together. and all the excitement of our own little place. and of course some things never change- the look on his face when our eyes meet. or the feeling of being in his arms. or on and on.

sometimes. sometimes i just wish we could go back. just a little. and erase the jobs. erase the responsibility. and...
and then i see how senseless i'm being.

i'm pretty much admitting to blogspot that i'm terrified of growing up. i think i just need to stop running for a while. slow down. in fact, maybe i'll sit and rest a little. because sometimes i feel like i can't handle a lot of things. and it could be that i probably have a little above average stress than most people.

i've been praying a lot lately.

i guess i'm lucky to say that at the end of the day i still have someone who loves me, who supports my decisions, who adores me and wants to make me happy. at the end of the day, jeremy ray will still slow down and be there to rest with me.

he always tells me that i can take a break. and i think i'm ready to believe him.