today, as I'm reviewing topics on stress and coping for my health psychology class, I got to thinking about what stresses me out in my life. and sometimes I feel like it's literally everything. for some reason I feel like I should start off with things I'm grateful for, because there are plenty, and I also feel like a loser nagging about things I want to complain about. I'm grateful for spiritual experiences every week. for finding new beautiful songs to get addicted to. for musical instruments. for the opportunity and capacity to learn. for emotions. for social support- good friends and family. for warmth- a bed and shelter. I could go on and on. -for never feeling alone anymore.

I guess one of my stressors lately (but kind has been always) is obssessing over other's thoughts and feelings. Something about contention make me feel uneasy... for a long time. I feel like there are so many things to say to you, but only a few of them are mature. I know there's no point in rethinking and replaying things over in my mind because I probably couldn't forgive you or forget what you said to me anyway. Jeremy and I have been married for over five months now, and it's a lot ridiculous that I still have the urge to make things better with you.

so deep down, under my nasty name calling and huge frustration, I'm really only sorry for you being immature and thinking that you should have say in my wedding. I'm sorry for the other friendships I lost because they agreed with you. but what I'm most sorry about is how much time I've wasted on this. I don't feel like I have much control over it though.