never working

the last couple of years have been really good to me.
i was really lucky to get into nursing school,
really blessed to have a surprise baby,
really lucky to draw out maternity clinicals for the third semester lottery,
and really really lucky to get a labor and delivery capstone.

all the paving the way for me to be labor and delivery nurse.

I'm proud to announce a few accomplishments:
charted like crazy,
found cervixes and correctly declared dilation and effacement (!!!!!)
had my first sucessful unmedicated delivery (!!!!!!)

as you can imagine,
working on labor and delivery isn't all golden.
I've worked 6 twelve hour shifts and at least half have been really discouraging.

but my goodness, those babies are heavenly.
my favorite part of the day is seeing that beautiful, serosanguinous head.
mom pushing until she's red in the face,
the provider holding up that tiny newborn,
and then seeing dad cry, seeing mom cry, seeing their eyes meet.
those moments are so powerful.
the love in the room is indescribable.
I still tear up everytime I see this.
this is why I do what I do.

"choose a job you love and you will never have to work a day in your life."

(obviously I can't take or post any pictures of my patients, so I'm sharing this favorite of mine.
it's no wonder why I want to have so many children when I am so blessed.)

some days my days are really long

and then I find this waiting for me in the truck when I get off from clinicals:

my jeremy snuck a dr. pepper and a treat in on his way to work.
it's rough, this trying to graduate with a baby and never seeing your hubby thing.

but it helps when you have a cute hubby.
:)

little things

to become a nurse, you have to take a licensing exam called the NCLEX when you graduate.
to ensure high pass rates for their students, the U requires that you pass the predictor test before they let you graduate.
two tries, you get.
I was so nervous about this.
obviously I studied my butt off. and obviously kept failing at the practice exams.
anyway long story short,
we took the predictor test today,
and I passed.
amazing right?
I can hardly believe it.


so Jeremy and I go out to china chefs to celebrate.
usually it's dead, so we're covered since we kinda have a loud baby.
then another couple comes in with their loud baby and they sit across the booth from us.
Amelia talks loudly over to him a lot. and he talks back.

our waitress is a little wacko,
asks what I'm feeding amelia.
I say: broccoli
Waitress: oh, really? she looks too little! broccoli makes her gassy, you know?
Jeremy: well we haven't had any problems with it so far...
Waitress: yeah, you should really watch out for that gas and constipation, she's just so little
Me: well, she's seven months old, and we haven't had a problem with broccoli.
Waitress: well, maybe you should try mixing it with some apple juice or something? I mean, how old is she?
Me: 7 months
Waitress: well yeah, maybe you should try some green beans or something, so she's not so constipated.

so we just stare at her, and she moves on to the other trio.

Waitress: oh, are you feeding him green beans? so healthy!
Mom: no, green beans are green... we're feeding him sweet potato.


Jeremy and I are dying.

it's the little things that make life amazing.

hard things

"we can do hard things"

I've always believed it.
I don't think think there's been a moment since high school where I didn't.
I mean honestly,
who works to pay for cheer and dance company and graduates with an associates degree?
when I realized I couldn't get my bachelor's of nursing in three years, I decided to double major with psychology.
of course, I had to get pregnant as soon as I started nursing school.
and to finish senior year off with a bang, I had to do sac presidency, service learning, and critical care elective.

I just kinda keep pushing along, and somehow I get through.
(with lots of help)

the critical care class is dang hard.
like dang hard. :(
there was some significant moments I came across this week.
many of them involved tears.
I just kept thinking a week,
i can do this. right? i can!
i can't. i just can't do one more thing. i can't handle one more thing.
just suck it up. just do it.
but then "one more thing"(s) just kept happening.
like finding out my senior nursing project had to be at my service learning site, so now I have to start volunteer hours on top of school, on top of 2-3 twelves.
like getting no sleep.
like having to drive in that snowstorm after a long shift with my baby.
like worrying about making the U's USNA a legit chapter.
like trying to figure out what's next to feed my baby
like getting sick again, and being extra emotional.

I think some things are harder than others, and some things are harder for some people than others.
sometimes, hard things include making a decision.
and I've been resisting this decision for over a week.

I dropped critical care.
instead I am taking gerontology, NURS 5050 (yeah, in the 5000's!)

now I can focus on my priorities.
including one of my own mantras:
you can't just serve others only when it is convenient for you.
as well as the hubs and our babe, eating, taking care of my body.
and I can do things I want to do, like blogging. and playdates and exercising and cooking.

xo
you can do hard things.

december at the bodtchers

 

1. getting lots of sweet kisses from my honey 2. lots of standing, and lots of tasting 3. big girl seat at Walmart, and leaning lots to see everything 4. seeing a picture of baby cousin Kohen, and turning away to cry 5. the sky on the last day of third semester 6. matching outfits, planned as always 7. trying so hard to pull herself up 8. first half birthday means first solid meal. :)

 

 

9. waiting for mama to get ready before church 10. all bundled for the snowstorm 11. soooooooooooo close!!!! 12. making a dr. pepper/mt. dew run 13. I told my mom that I didn't set a blanket down for amelia, because she's always crawling around, and she made this 14. first night with nemo 15. at dirty diana's bridal shower- heading straight for the toilet paper pile! 16. pretty trees on our pretty street.

 

 

 17. carrots, to peel, steam, puree, and freeze. for mah baby of course 18. about to host a christmas party at our house! 19. loves with daddy 20. feels like you take less couple pictures when you have a baby. didn't want to forget the newlywed magic 21. pulled herself up on mommy to see daddy 22. cheesiest kid I know 23. with nemo again, not getting much sleep with mommy taking so many pictures 24. standing up, just holding mommy's hair. you know, no big deal.

 

 

 25. using daddy's work tablet, so tech savvy 26. work hard, play hard 27. just drinkin' away with gramps 28. santa needs presents too! ;) 29. Christmas morning, excited as can be! 30. helping daddy rip that paper 31. all the grands and great-grands wearning scarves from grandma jackson. Amelia is pretty exhausted in this picture 32. session at mt. timp temple with my hus.

 

33. was trying to make a blogpost about 2013 resolutions. see why I tell everyone I have 2 children? 34. millie girl helping dad pay the bills 35. "mom, get me outta here!" 36. "I'm a little cruiser!" 37. broccoli all around for lunch 38. learning to bend and reach 39. this is how to travel to and from church- so bundled and cozy 40. love her sweet face :)

waiting

pretty sure today is the first day in months that I am not baby hungry.

grateful for my sweet girl,
but exhausted and have been sleep-deprived for a few days.
today I worked a 12 hour shift,
went to pick up amelia,
was babied and waited on by my sweet sis in law,
almost didn't want to come home
to face my critical care homework.

but I did.
got my dr. pepper with me
pretty much I still have about 3 hours to go,
which will probably be around the time amelia starts her nightly screaming-every-hour, trying-to-climb-out-of-her-crib routine.

thank you Heavenly Father, I hear you loud and clear.