hallejulah, it's fall break!
it's so interesting to see how far I've come.
Fall Break, 2009: I packed in 40 hours of work that week and still managed to party every night. I remember this boy buying me two monsters at 5 in the morning, so I could make it at work. That afternoon, I drove to BYU provo during rush hour weaving in and out of consiousness to have a sleepover with my friend, AmberLee. I was at the lowest point of my life, masking behind the best college experience. Getting drunk every week and going out dancing, sleeping over at frat houses with my "girlfriends," or without, driving and driving and making myself get lost so I didn't feel so lonely anymore. It was all pretty ridiculous.
Two years ago in 2010, I married this cute guy that turned everything around for me. It only took us 10 months to say "I do," and everyone thought I was crazy for getting married at 18. I remember that stress stress stressful day that turned out perfectly beautiful, like it was meant to be. I remember that gorgeous honeymoon, that I lost all my pictures to. I remember feeling as beautiful as Anne Hathaway looked at the end of "the other side of Heaven," the morning after we slept in our bed at home. My mom had insisted on buying us new, expensive white sheets to start off our marriage. We lived in the basement of Jeremy's grandparents'. We were broke as a joke, both going to school, madly-in-love newlyweds. it was a dream come true.
Last year in 2011, Jeremy and I were celebrating our first year anniversary in Moab, in attempts to recreate our photos from our honeymoon. I remember going on my fanatic, I-have-to-buy-some-pregnancy-tests mode after our anniversary dinner. We went to the store, and I got mad at Jeremy for not holding the pregnancy test for me. and I refused to take the tests that night, because how could I raise a child with someone who is still so embarrassed/immature about pregnancy tests and tampons!? We made up at 3 in the morning, and I had to pee. I remember thinking how funny I was for being so dramatic probably all for a negative test. That was when God told me I was in for the long haul, and I saw a little ( + ) on the test window. Good thing we just bought a house that was already baby-proofed, right? I remember Jeremy's sweet reaction when I told him, I remember buying a cute little onesie together, I remember Collette pranking-calling Planned Parenthood, in attempts to get me a more accurrate blood test. When they told her they don't offer those services, she asked in her thick southern accent, "so you mean I prolly shouldn't go out drinkin' with the girls tonight?" yeah, we were really mature back then.
Now it's Fall Break again, and I have an almost-four-month old who delights in playing peek-a-boo. I can't find the words to express how happy I am. It's a pretty exhausting adventure, this whole raising a baby thing. But I'm grateful I get to do it with a man who would sacrifice everything to make sure we are taken care of. Monday marks our two year anniversary, and it marks Amelia's 1/3rd birthday. I am struggling to find a happier time and place in my life.
four years have flown by, and I have to admit... college has been the best 4 years of my life. not because I was independant and partied like crazy, but because I learned to be dependant for the first time in my life. I found myself and I found what makes me happy. I have made some incredible life-long friends, and I've made the most amazing memories. aren't I lucky to be able to say I truly have no regrets.
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