This little sweetheart is my entire world. I can't even fathom where we would be if she wasn't here. 6 months old, tomorrow. I can't even believe it. That tiny little bean growing inside me, that came out almost 7 pounds, is now this giant baby.
She is so smart. I adore her curiosity. I love seeing her expressions sweeping accross her face. I love watching her look at books. She is constantly taking in every part of the world in through all her senses. The photographer asked me how I came up with the idea of "reading" with glasses and her books. When I was pregnant, I read somewhere that little girls are taught that their looks are so important, that it undermines their intelligence. Because of this, I make sure she reads daily, I make sure I tell her how smart she is everyday, her only item of clothing that has words on it says "smart." and why not? Because I want so many amazing things for her, her self-value being high on that list. Hence, a photoshoot showing off her love of books.
She is crawling everywhere; fastest to things she isn't suppose to touch (i.e. laptop, cords, papers worth huge amounts of points, etc.) She loves to stand. She has stood for a few seconds at a time without supporting her weight on anything. She is working on pulling herself up; it is so thrilling cheering her on! She has her two bottom teeth, and she smiles to show them off! She reaches for me when wants me to hold her. She only wants to be glued to me when we're in public. I treasure the moments when she falls asleep, cuddling me. She's starting to get the concept of object permanance- it's still kind of confusing! She is combining lots of different syllables, often times she says "hi da" We pretend she's talking to us. Still waiting to hear "mama," I'm sure she'll say it when she's ready.
I remember last year, this time. I was thinking, "man, this time next year, we're going to have a SIX month old!" and I thought it would never come. I just thought I'd be pregnant forever. and in school forever. Now it's "next year." Time flies. like unbelieveably fast. This time next year, we're going to have an 18 month old, I'll be graduated from nursing school and hopefully practicing in a hospital, maybe have another little one on the way, maybe think about graduate school a bit...
Seeing this makes my stomach hurt a little. Jeremy is 6'2", so you can only imagine how high Amelia is. But just look at that giggling smile. Makes you just want to squeeze her to death, huh? Our baby has also strengthened our marriage a million times in infinite ways. Jeremy sacrificed his dream job, took a huge pay cut, works graveyard shifts that suck his soul away, so he can be home with our sweetie while I go to school. and he texts me all the time, "sooo... after you graudate, if you want to work, and let me be the stay-at-home dad, I'd totally be down." I'm so lucky to be married the most hardworking, the most supporting, the most loving man around. Hopefully Amelia will find a husband that treats her the way Jeremy treats me.
I feel like I'm constantly holding my breath, begging to keep these moments. her smiles. her giggles. her curiosity. her love. her two cute teeth. even her tears. breastfeeding. her tiny hands pressed against mine. her shining eyes. her little boogers. her little tongue that wants to taste everything. her slobbery kisses. her tiny clothes. her naked bum. her pot belly. her chubby cheeks. her daddy's ears that I adore so much. I just want it all to stay. still. just pause. I'm so nervous for her to grow up, and it's happening too fast.
I get it now. Motherhood. Totally unimaginable and indescribable. So so so perfect. Thank you for changing me for the better, Amelia Ray. You will always be my baby girl. Happy half birthday!
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