patience

so we had another doctors appointment today.

and I'm feeling a wee bit disappointed. I've only progressed another cm (to a 3), and still only 70 percent effaced. At 37 weeks and 4 days, that's excellent. Most women can only dream about being this far, especially for their first! so I am trying to tell myself to think positive, think positive, think positive, and keep walking. The waiting game is just awful, and of course the last couple of weeks have not been comfortable. Despite it all, we are still hoping for this friday. I'll even settle for this saturday. :)

37

dear amelia ray,

we made it to full term!

this means you should come out to meet me, and daddy, and everyone else who loves you!

hopefully this is the last week to week update. :)

we had a doctor's appointment on monday

I was dilated to a 2 and 70 percent effaced!

we are progressing so well!

dr. thackery says that he will check us again next wednesday, "if you don't come before then!"

honestly, I was hoping you would come out thursday night

(we were having some patterned contractions out here!)

but now you have to stay in for the weekend,

because dr. thackery is on memorial weekend vacation!!!

ahhhhhck!!

your daddy has been grateful for every extra day you stay in,

since he's been frantically trying to finish our painting project.

he works so hard because he loves you.

he's even letting your grandparents come to help him on memorial day!

we're also having some panicky dreams out here.

our birth plan is to just have daddy and I present for your birth,

the last couple of nights I've been dreaming of literally everyone coming to visit during labor.

extended family, friends, strangers I meet at the store

your dad has woken up to me screaming "seriously!! get out of my room!!!"

and everyone will just have conversations over me!

it's giving me anxiety, darling.

this week when your dad was soothing you in our bed,

you kicked his hand three times hard.

"three times for i love you"

we are so ready to hold you and kiss you and love you.

xo,

mommy

memories of the crick

my parents have always taught me to work hard, and to never depend on anyone/anything else in life. because of this, i've always been pretty independent. working for a paycheck has always been such an important part of my identity.

today was my last day at canyon creek assisted living, where I have put in over 3 years of my life. I have grown into a completely different person. it's been a little emotional for me reminscing:



-there was a resident who had sundowners and would get really combative if you tried to help him get dressed/ready for bed. he was so confused and had no clue who I was, but he would calm down as soon as i handed him his harmonica. and he played like a freaking champ!

-a couple that shared almost 80 years of marriage together. she passed at 93 years young, the year he turned 100. I remember him telling me "there is just this heavy weight on my soul that I can't get past" I had to leave his room to cry, because I couldn't imagine losing the love of my life. he quickly declined and joined his sweetheart before 101. yes, I cried when you passed away.

-the resident that yelled at me the entire time I helped her into bed, and then later told another aide that there was indians riding on horses by her room, and to tell them she was sorry. this was also the resident that made jeremy jump a mile because she was slouched over the first time he scanned the room. and then he realized that he had watched too many zoombie movies.

-the one resident who would literally jump out of bed when you would remind him it was time for a meal. and he napped all day, so I got to see this quite often. he was 90+ years.

-the female resident I was suppose to help shower, who informed me a man had tried to offer her a shower earlier, "and I just didn't like that..." she was so as-a-matter-of-fact about it, I had to bite my lip not to die laughing.

-the resident that required so many cares, but her insanely sincere gratitude made it so worth it. She had donated her life to service and had the first set of giant scriptures and hymns that I had ever seen. Her family was always visiting, and she always had the nicest silk pajamas, that I swore I would somday get myself. Yes, I cried when I couldn't make your funeral.

-the resident who told me the same story everytime I escorted her to meals: "grandma told me my teeth were homely, I never liked grandma much after that. stay young and beautiful; don't get old and dilapidated" and she twiddled her feet nonstop. I actually adored her, but jeremy won't let me name our child her name because she drove him crazy!

-when jeremy and I didn't make eye contact at all at work the week after we started dating, because we both thought everyone would know we had made out 5/7 nights since the last week.

-the resident who would hollar profanities whenever you tried helping him with tolieting, grooming, escorting, feeding, anything at all. You would just have to let him yell and yell and then out of the blue, he would agree to let you. Thank you for helping me get accepted to nursing school (wrote my application essay on him). yes, I cried when you passed away.

-the resident who always talks about her daughter who bought her her really expensive clothing item, and then you would see it at payless shoes the next day.

-the sweetheart of a resident who made me bring jeremy to interview when we were engaged, to make sure he was a decent guy. he would always say, "now what was his name again? that's right! Jeremy, but he doesn't own Jeremy Ranch! ...or does he?" I watched him decline into a state of not remembering my name or my face or why I had to give him his medications. yes I cried when you passed away.

-the resident who was such a grump all the time. and he always talked about his army days, and showering with the nurses whenever he was around other female residents. yes, I'm still laughing thinking about this.

-the resident who would sing to me in... she was from yugoslavia?! she always said such dirty, crude things about the male employees who worked there! oh how I loved her. and yes, I did cry when you passed.

-the tiny resident who told me all about her days on the farm while I escorted her to meals; how she and her sister had to wake up early every morning to milk her cows. and about her eye doctor who was so great and would be able help her see (he didn't).

-the resident who would always sing "the iron rod" when I asked her to hold on to the bar in the bathroom. she always asked about my day and had some sarcastic insert to add. yes, I cried when you passed away.

-the sweetest resident who always kept her room at 60 degrees because she always thought it was so hot. She hardly ever complained; she was the first person I knew who improved enough to get off hospice care. Her daughter was the nicest, prettiest lady. Every year for Christmas she gave out clemmies and hand sanitizer.

-the resident who tries to sleep until noon everyday, despite the four times you have to wake up her for her 4 eye drops. she tried to set me (and every other girl) up with her grandson 2 years ago. this is also the same resident who can't remember if my baby is a boy or a girl, but she always remembers that I married "that sweet handsome TALL man"

-the resident that I accidentally sung "I wanna be a millionare....... sooooo freaking bad" in front of. and she thought I was hilariously crazy for it. She was also the first fall I found. I remember how much anxiety I had then, and how calm I am now in comparision.

-or the resident that you will always find lying on her side, reading her book, forgetting about her meals.

-or the resident you will always find snoring in his armchair. or in the front lobby.

-or the resident who has 4 med passes between 8 am-2 pm, and you can never find him!


there are so many memories that I will never forget. I could go on and on with these stories!
thank you canyon creek for teaching me life lessons on love, patience, work ethic, compassion, distraction, nursing.
thank you for letting me meet the love of my life.
thank you for growing me into the person I am today.

showered by our places we labor at

Jer and I got to attend both our work showers together!

shower from canyon creek:

(I've worked here for almost 3.5 years, and this is where our love story began)

don't worry,

I am pretty much a professional at making awkward faces for shower pictures...

cute tub and darling outfit from the DON, Anne :)

walker from sandi, randi, and jeannette!

(ps. if you didn't know,

Jer fell down the stairs in a walker when he was a baby. ha!)

I've always been dedicated to my job;

I can't hardly believe I will be closing this chapter in my life.

but I guess it just means I get to start a new chapter,

one that I will never have to close.

shower from Curo:

(Jeremy has worked here from almost a year,

and pretty much everyone just adores him!

what can I say, I married a sweetheart!)

it was ladybug themed...

and amelia got the cutest ladybug dress that she will be wearing next summer!!

we're pretty cheesy

one of jer's co-workers had her little boy about 2 months ago...

and he is just the most darling thing!

holding him just made me want my amelia to come out NOW! :)

and doesn't jer just look like a pro dad already?

there weren't any pictures,

but amelia got the CUTEST neon pink polka-dotted swimsuit in the world!

oh I about died!

I guess there will be no excuses for her to not go out to the pool this summer :)

also, one of Jer's patients also made us the most darling quilt ever

(apparently, he was her most favorite nurse! of course...)

thank you to all the ladies we work with,

who planned and threw these cute showers for us and our baby girl!

we are lucky to know and to be loved by you!

showered by a group of girls who grew me

a couple weeks ago my sister collette and her mom luann

threw me a goregous tea-party themed shower

don't they have the most amazing taste and sense of style?

all the details were so perfect and classy.

thank you ladies for all the words of advice and confidence in motherhood you have in me.

thank you collette and luann for such a lovely party.

and thank you to friends who have mailed and visited with gifts and love for baby amelia!

36

well here we are at week 36.

I have this baby app on my phone

I remember when i was at week 12

and I would always scroll down to week 36 and just laugh at how far away that seemed.

and now my baby is the size of a crenshaw melon.

baby amelia is moving all the time.

and I'm still doing pretty well with sleeping through the night.

(bizzare, right?)

I'm really not complaining, I promise!

It could just be the exhaustion...

Jeremy told me that last night he came to bed

(when I was already asleep)

and put his hand on my belly

and she was just moving around like crazy for about a 1/2 hour!

and I didn't wake up ha!

speaking of exhaustion,

things are a lot bigger of a deal when you're tired.

trust me:

when in doubt, go take a nap.

this morning I had a dream

that Jeremy went behind my back and found an adoption agency for our baby!

I was furious!

and he had gotten called out to work so I didn't even get to yell when I woke up.

oh, but he got to hear about it when he got home...

turns out he had the same dream about me earlier this week.

bring on the bizzare dreams, i guess!

speaking of dreams,

I dream about labor, pretty much every night.

I don't think you can feel actual pain in dreams...

but it's always so realistic,

the panic, the breathlessness, the contractions, the timing

and I wake up sweating

right before I get to hold her.

it's so frustrating, but I can't help but be more and more excited!

she could come today, and I would be thrilled.

Jeremy's still trying to get me to quit my job.

he's always threatening to call my boss up himself

(he use to work there, so he's kinda got the in's)

my poor husband thinks I'm never going to quit

and just secretly go back right after I have the baby.

haha!

I guess I would think too that if I was married to me.

we've got a busy schedule for this coming week:

daddy's birfday

1st every week appt

last baby shower with jer's work

maternity pictures

family wedding

before we know it, it'll be week 37!

that's full term, baby!

cocinmos amor

since I've finished the semester, I've found plenty of things to occupy my time.

cleaning, crafting, errands, etc.

one thing I hope to become great at at some point in my life is cooking,

and grocery shopping planning.

for now, I'm still a novice

and really proud of my baby steps.

if you guys didn't know,

Jeremy loves chicken gnocchi soup from olive garden.

looooooooooves it!

I'm pretty good at looking up recipes online and following directions,

and I would say my soup was pretty successful...

here are some pictures and instructions for you:

3 lbs potato

2 cups flour

1 extra large egg

pinch of salt

(I also added rosemary, just to "spice" things up a bit)

1/2 cup canola oil

1. boil potatoes for about 45 minutes

2. peel the potatoes (yeah, found out we don't have a peeler, so I did this by hand)

3. run potatoes through vegetable mill (we don't have this either, so I also smashed them by hand)

4. add flour, egg, salt to potatoes and kneed into a nice ball :)

5. cut and roll dough (?) into nice little gnocchi bites

here's the semi-tricky part:

You want to have a pot of boiling water and a pot of ice water

6. drop the gnocchi into the boiling water

7. when all the gnocchi rises, put them in the ice bath.

8. you will know they are ready when they sink to the bottom.

while this is all happening, utitlize your time into cutting and rolling more gnocchi!

9. when you have cooked all your gnocchi, toss in 1/2 cup of canola oil.

this makes a LOT of gnocchi.

I put the rest of mine in a ziplock bag to freeze

(you know, saving some food for when the baby comes and the exhaustion kicks in)

as for the soup itself...

you just need some broth, veggies, half & half, spices, and meat of your choice.

I used: celery, carrots, spinich, mushrooms, and corn.

mincing is key.

Jeremy only likes one thing in that list, but he drank my soup up!

this probably took me a whole day's prep.

it's a good thing that I have time to practice and learn recipes on my days of rest....

I'm not the only one that's amazing though: 

I was exhausted from work today, and took a 2 hour nap as soon as a I got home.

the cutie husband made us dinner!

burritos (with fake meat, red&green peppers, and taco seasoning)

just look at us!

growing up and making our own meals.

becoming parents

so we started our lamaze classes on monday.

good thing jeremy and i are so mature...

we did an exercise where i'm suppose to pick out relaxing, soothing words out of a list (for jer to use when i'm freaking out in labor)

we're looking through the list...

jeremy points at "flaccid"

i crack up.

and then there's "sagging"

we're both busting up.

our instructor asks us if we have something to share.

we're those students.

and then during the progressive relaxation,

the lights are turned down,

and it's silent aside from the instructor's voice and everyone's deep breathing.

and I can hear jeremy chuckling next to me.

what?

later he tells me, he's thinking "oh man, it's so quiet... someone's going to let it riiiiiiiiiiiip!!"

our instructor is pretty good at using "your partner" when she's referring to our support,

but she slips up when we're practicing our relaxation techniques

and says "baby daddy"

jeremy can barely stiffle his laugh

and I can feel his body shaking as he laughs.

we discuss the favorite things and least favorite things about pregnancy.

the boys and girls split up.

a couple positive things from the boys list:

designated driver, "you can't get pregnant again"

yeah, we got some funny ones in the class.......

also, the last thing mentioned was "no more fertility treatments"

which brought tears to my eyes.

it breaks my heart to hear about or read about struggles with infertility.

it's really nice to hear about success and just silently be so so happy for them. :)

we also got a lecture on diet

and healthy eating for the pregnancy and after birth as well.

instantly I started craving an oreo mcflurry from mcdonalds.

nice.

yes, we did get one on the drive home.

all in all, the class was great.

we have the earliest due date, by about a month.

but that's okay, we'll get 4/6 classes in if our babe doesn't come early.

good thing i have my funny funny husband for the next couple of monday nights!

daughters will love like you do

happy mother's day to two incredible women in my life:

my own mother:

(a picture of our gift to her, because my dad took her out when we went to visit)

My mother is:

hardworking, dedicated, generous,

a great example of healthy living,

a wonderful cook,

a shopaholic, like myself

a valuer of academics,

such a hard worker,

and a strong woman for being able to raise me.

and my other mother:

Julie is:

supporting, endlessly loving, and devoted,

a wonderful teacher,

always listening,

kind & nonjudgemental,

also a shopaholic,

a spoiler of children,

and heaven-sent for loving all children.

Jeremy also spoiled me with a little mother's day surprise of my own:

I hope to be able to live up to his words

and the examples of motherhood I've had in my life.

Thank you to other mother figures that have influenced me

and helped me become the woman I am today:

Denise Johnson & Paula Hansen

xo

35

dear amelia ray,

everyday brings us closer and closer together.

which is strange, because there is nothing except a placenta between us.

it's finally may,

we've made it through school

and now it's just the waiting game.

we've enjoyed some pleasant days off together...

kind of.

I don't like sitting still,

and you don't either, it seems.

we're also a little too uncomfortable to be patient enough with delicate crafts

and running errands seem to get us way too winded.

your kicks are becoming quite painful,

and I feel like we both agree you're running out of womb. :)

stretch marks are growing too.

bigger, and in other areas of my body.

the only thing we've been really enjoying is gwackamoley.

kind of, again.

we first had it at aunt collette's graduation party...

ate ourselves sick.

and your uncle travis insists on making more "for his niece"

we're spoiled.

except I have no self-control,

and I've had gwack 4 different times in the last week.

and your daddy thinks we need to take it easy (as if)

I guess it won't take you long to figure out who the real adult is out here.

on wednesday,

we oriented the new accelerated program for nursing school

(part of student government duties)

those kids are on top of the game!

the college of nursing has an official stance on no working while in the program,

and they unoffically tack on, don't get married, and don't have a baby in the program.

oh man, we dropped the ball on some of those, didn't we?

always rebelling, you'll get that from me.

your aunt collette also threw us a gorgeous shower on friday,

because she already loves you so much!

but more on that (with pictures too!) later.

remember how I said we were ready for you in week 34?

well this week I washed all your 0-3 months clothes

and packed our hospital bag

and thought about putting in your carseat base.

baby steps.

we're still getting ready, it seems.

mother's day is just around the corner

and I can't help but think of all life lessons I want to teach you,

and the little things too:

I hope you love yourself for the beauty you have on the inside.

and I hope you will know you are beautiful on the outside (without makeup) too.

truly.

I hope you respect others and respect yourself.

I hope you have the work ethic of your grandparents.

I hope you have the sense of humor to laugh into your old age.

I hope you can't wait to tell me about all your dates, ridiculous ones and wonderful ones.

I hope you find a husband that treats you like your father treats me.

I hope you have children of your own.

I hope for great things for you,

like I've never dreamed for myself.

I hope you get everything you want in life.

and I hope you know how much I love you.

and that you make me a better person, constantly.

and I love myself more, since you've come into existance.

dr. thackery only lets his patients carry their babies 1 week past their due date.

so that's it:

6 weeks tops.

and we've got so much longer together,

so really, what's the rush?

I keep telling myself anyway...

our love garden, week 1

I've wanted to grow my own garden for about forever now,

and this year we're finally getting around to it.

since we live in daybreak,

a community that only allows gardens in shared planter boxes,

we're sharing a garden at Jeremy's parents' home.

Jeremy and Travis have been tilling for a couple of days.

and Jer and I went to pick out some plants from glover:

checking out strawberries,

which we think we're going to build a secret planter box in our backyard for.

shhhh don't tell the daybreak police.

we have:

green and red bell peppers, tomatoes (a butt ton, including roma, for my gwackamoley!), cucumbers, pumpkins, watermelon. 

jeremy finishing tilling, while I was inside reading.

if you haven't met duke,

he's kinda huge.

and he slobbers a lot when he likes ya. :)

Jeremy raking the soil smooth,

and Randy and I digging holes for our million tomato plants

Jer and I patting the soil in.

there's something about planting a garden as a family that I have always loved.

my parents did it every year when I was growing up

and I just think it's so dang romantic to do with your husband.

I'm so excited to go weed every week and mark our progress.

I'm so excited to watch our plants grow and mature

and harvest our hard work.

this summer is just going to be great. :)

hello to week 1!

ps. did you know that "yolo" means "you only live once"??

I feel like that old person that doesn't know what "lol" means.

geez! it's only been 3 years since high school!

34

so guess what?

babies born between 34 and 37 weeks generally do as well as full term babies.

so we're ready!

I've only gained 3 lbs in the last month,

which is nuts for the last trimester (I gained 6-8 in my first tri)

but my uterus is still measuring perfectly, so we're all good.

5/7 nights this week,

i didn't get out of bed once.

crazy again?

perfect and so convenient for finals week!

amelia is already so smart and so thoughtful and so good to me!

also, congrats to aunt collette for graduating college!!

in two weeks, we have our last every 2 week appointment

where how dilated my cervix will be measured.

and then we will start every week appointments.

can't wait.

i love you amelia ray!

proof

i know we moved into our home last november,

and i still haven't posted any pictures.

i truly have been insanely busy,

mainly with school and work and growing a babe.

anyway, i finished my last final yesterday

and had a huge surge of energy to get things accomplished.

seriously, i cleaned a huge hunk of my house,

and got started on making our home actually looking like one.

it's kinda a work in progress

but I promise more pictures will come.

this is in the front room, where we have a red wall,

beautiful couches my parents gave us as a housewarming gift,

and after jeremy repaints,

we will put my old piano in,

along with a wingback chair I am going to reupholster with red&white paisley material!!

this banner is above our kitchen sink,

a room where we have a ton of projects to work on:

hanging our pot hanger from the ceiling over the kitchen island,

repainting our table legs, chairs and benches,

repainting our garage door and patio door blue <3,

hanging our flatscreen,

and getting our office finished, so I stop using this space as my work area!

this wall is also in our kitchen,

mirroring the banner and our sink.

the room to the right is the master bed.

I did this wall last Christmas break (it was about the only thing I did ha!)

the top left sign says "write your hurts in sand, carve your blessings in stone"

which is a beautiful way to life, i'm working on it.

bottom left is a shadow box with tickets (movies, games, trax, etc) that Jer and i have gone to together.

it doesn't really match the blue theme we've got going on in the kitchen/family room,

but I still like it. :)

this is the master bedroom!

Jeremy has worked so hard painting our rooms

he is such a perfectionist that it takes forever to get the walls mudded and sanded.

he also has repainted our ceilings and molding white

before he adds the pretty colors

and seriously! such a big difference in the rooms he's repainted.

we just finally moved back in here last night!

anywho, just a picture of our side wall that I want to fill up with frames.

pretty much a shrine of our marriage. :)

we still need to:

hang curtains,

find an orange ruffle bedspread (suggestions?)

convince the hubby to put up shelves with orange ankle brackets,

and we're done!! with one room, at least :)

I made this for our master bed.

no idea why I'm obessessed with cute patterns for wastebaskets,

but here we are!

Jeremy has also repainted our master bath, which is a beautiful shade of light(er) green :)

this is in my walk-in closet,

right next to our shower :)

love this idea to hang/differentiate towels,

even though we share all the time. :)

anyways, i'm thinking of posting pictures from start to finish

of before and after for each room in our house.

............when we finish.

haha.

the great thing about summer vacation is all this time to get things accomplished!!!

the downside is that i've got a little ball in front of me sucking up all my energy.

who needs to work out when you're cleaning/decorating the house, right?