5/31//

I'm not going to lie, I don't have a huge spiritual message to share today. I took Amelia to the bathroom when we sustained members into new callings, I nursed Scarlett during sacrament, and then rocked her to sleeping during an entire talk. When I finally sat back down, I wanted to cry and I wanted to leave. I just felt emotionally drained as I tried to remember what was said about "keeping the Sabbath day holy." I sat there after the meeting ended, just trying to will myself to go to the remaining two meetings. A dear sister came up to me with her daughters (whom I loved from young women's), she told me: every time she hears a baby cry in sacrament, she remembers how much she misses this stage of motherhood. She told me she knows it is so hard, but this time will pass quickly. (Amelia is crawling all over me, I'm holding both girls, and I'm totally bawling at this point) She told me I am everything to these girls, their whole world; that one day they will listen to their friends more than they listen to me. She told me that I was doing a great job, and my girls knew it. She and her girls gave me (us) a hug, and I was so grateful this sweet moment that I needed.

it's so hard, but it's so good too.

may for the bodtchers

scarlett and her faces. also, we love pretending she has hair when we get her in her jammies// "mom, can we just hold hands without you taking a picture?"//selfie // oh, did I mention someone crashed into our terrain? it was suuuuch a mess dealing with the other party and their insurance, but thankfully nobody was hurt and we had a sweet lady that stopped and offered herself as a witness// amelia doing my hair... yikes!// "holy poly!!!!!!!"// millie girl helping me bring dinner to a sister who just had a baby. I'm grateful for opportunities to serve, and opportunities to teach my children about service// this girl's face when "shake it off" is playing.

reptile time at the South Jordan library... amelia was terrified of all displays and refused to touch any of them// make-shift storytime// jeremy and I had love and logic parenting classes for date night three weeks in a row// trying again @ zoo-mania at the Herriman library// amelia kept asking for a horse, but unfortunately there was only a parrot, giant bunny, huge dog, iguana, snake, tortoise, etc. etc. geez, what a disappointment// amelia braving-up and giving the animals some love ////

I just adore their sisterhood, how they always smile and laugh together!// these little braids just melt me// found bird poop on her slide and told her to give me her "yuck" face// selfie// I love staring at their sleeping faces// criss-cross was the hardest hair-do attempt I ever made, and it came out before naptime... ummm???// giving her babies a little spin...

at the Payson Temple open house// amelia was such a sweetheart, loving the temple, wanting to get baptized in a font, married in the sealing room. maybe all my talking doesn't fall on deaf ears??// the last picture of scarlett with a paci, yup... at 4.5 months!// I asked big sister what she thought about the nickname "lettie" and she said, "lettie spaghetti!?" and we love it!// second time on the ferris wheel at Scheel's, could have been her first!// scarlett watching the ferris wheel... the best!// millie girl carrying her church backpack backwards?// selfie! (bet you didn't see that coming)

thought we could include Scarlett since she wasn't napping// loves these babies as much as millie does// cruising on her balance bike with her feet as high as she can get them//watching the crazy rain with daddy// "bunny ears" (we're working on it)// "make a kissy face!"

we have fun// scarlett anne + her smiles// I was wearing scarlett while cooking lunch, and she grabbed the pan and got these second-degree burns. I panicked and soaked her hand in lavender oils and gave her tylenol and nursed her while I bawled// her pediatrician comforted us, ordered for antibiotics, and got this cute wrap on that lasted for about 3 minutes... all around an emotional mommy day for me// finished our love & logic class and got our licenses to parent, yo! (kidding)// these glasses totally make all of us look cooler//

(this gap right here^ is making me crrrrrrrray-cray)

amelia and her style, gets me every time// this birthday cake// rough days lately. went on a run to the lake, crossing a bridge, a slow song came on, and this giant shooting star fell out of nowhere, like God saying, "it's going to okay."// oh, did I mention that our prius' battery died? and the girls and I drove jer around for the second half of his work day? it was rough, but I just kept looking and cracking up at this picture of my scarlett// breakfast time with these girls// just matching hair-dos, no biggie// i ordered a basket for amelia's bike last month and it was wayyy too gigantic. she's been needing a little something to tote her smoothie + chalk around, and it's not like I have a lot of extra hands. ready for an instant bike basket tutorial? cheap basket with holes ($2) + 3 zip ties (87 cents for a pack of 20). I bet you can figure out the instructions. you're welcome.

a year and a half ago, I sold my double jogging stroller. I was bitter and sad about it. One random day at the park, I was talking to a mama with two boys... and a double jogging stroller... yes, the very same one I had sold so long ago! it was a sweet reminder that this world is small, and blessings come, and God is everywhere// oh, just me and my splint for my de quervain's tenosynovitis, nothing to see here// out on a walk with with sleeping scarlett and my one-antennaed bumblebee// first swim day of the summer!// jer got all the weed barrier down in our flower beds, now we just need the dripline and the rocks, and we are done with the yard!// rocking on the front porch one evening, amelia hands jeremy her baby and asks, "daddy will you feed rose?" j: where's the bottle? a: no, with your boob! (oh he is such a good daddy)// sunday dinner with my parents, they just love the girls so much// watering our tomato plant for the first time (it's been raining most of may!)


may was rough on us, but also beautiful in it's own way.
xo

scarlett: 5 months old

The biggest item to note this month is Scarlett's milestone and personality growth. I've loved getting to know this sweet girl and her smiles.

I mentioned Scarlett's screech in previous months. Oh man, Jeremy's dad even recorded and showed it to people at work. Did I mention it was all day, all night, happy, tired, excited, angry, hungry, non-stop. It was a little rough on us. She lost her voice this month, and had a sad little coo. It eased my soul, and I didn't feel so tired and overwhelmed all the time.

Scarlett feeds at 8 pm and goes down for the night. Another feeding at 11 pm and sleeps until 5 am. I feed her at 5, mooooost of the time she sleep until 7, we're trying to convince her another hour doesn't hurt. I was trying to feed her every three hours 11, 2, 5 during the day, but I allow cluster feedings if I can sleep at night. I'm wondering where we go when we start solids next month. I can't remember... Mamas, help?????

How did we start sleeping more? 1) We weaned out the pacifier. (it was getting difficult with it falling out every 10 minutes in the middle of the night.) 2) We got rid of the velcro wrap (swaddled with just a blanket, and then got rid of that too). 3) Introduced a lovey. (she is always holding her blanket square whenever we get her from her crib.)

Scarlett has been rolling over back to front all. the. time.  plus, she rolls around the room to get closer to Amelia as she plays. She sits up by herself for a few seconds at a time. She has been so much happier these days, and I truly think her big spirit was frustrated in a body that couldn't move how she wanted it to. She coos, and watches, and giggles and follows, and life is just easier these days. She takes two naps a day, and they range between half an hour to two hours. May the odds be ever in my favor.

Moved up to size 2 diapers, wearing 3-6 month clothing, sweetest hands and toes. Her haemangioma is looking lighter these days, but remains about the same size. No teeth yet (!), love her light hair coming in, her sweet fair skin has got me all sorts of worried in this summer sun, has increased nursing time to a good 10-15 minutes. Loves holding play spoons and her grouchy ladybug, loves to give a gummy smile, loves all the attention in the world.

Oh yes, I have been wearing Scarlett a lot these days. She grabbed the hot pan while I was cooking and instantly got these huge blisters on her right hand. Lavender oil, tylenol, a pediatrician visit, hand wrapped with silvadene, a heavy guilty mama heart, and a week later, the second degree burn has reduced to a few scabs. Thankfully, it wasn't any worse.

I love my sweet Scarlett Anne.

memorial day 2015

I crave to make holidays meaningful for my children. Fun, exciting, memorable. I haven't been feeling myself, but I tried so hard for Memorial Day. Jer and I (mostly Jer) hung our flag the night before. The girls and I spent most of the day outdoors: bike rides + sidewalk chalk. It was truly such a beautiful day! We did our grocery shopping after naps and Jer had gotten home from work, ran into my visiting teachee (with whom Jer got confused with my nurse manager that we had ran into a while ago bah!). Jer grilled beef/veggie burgers for dinner while Amelia and I baked cookies for a couple of veteran families in our ward. We all stuffed our faces and ended the evening with a walk around the neighborhood delivering our treats! Maybe when the girls are a little older we can do another bike parade to listen to the veterans speak again? Until then, I guess a little act of service will do.

ps. maybe you wondered why Amelia is wearing two different shirts in these pictures? My girl changes her outfit multiple times a day, no big deal!


memorial day 2014
memorial day 2013

Jeremy turns 31

(I totally dropped the ball this year, so it's stressing me out a little to post about this birthday...) Millie girl and I "baked" Jer a rice krispies cake during Scarlett's nap, and it turned out pinterest perfect! BAHAHA! Oh man, but it was fun letting Amelia try the rice krispies + frosting... it was one of those mommy-moments I've always dreamt about, and it was lovely! I put the girls down for a nap and took Jer out to one of his Jeremy-movies (Mad Max), because I figured it was his birthday, his choice! I also bought 31 candles, except I struggled to get them all on the cake and decided to just settle for the one candle... Annnnnnnnnyway, I was so happy that everyone minus Scarlett enjoyed the cake (next year, babe...)!! We planted our tomato plant and had In&Out for dinner after the girls were in bed.

I love my Jeremy and I'm so glad he was born. Every year, I think I know him + I love him, and every year I learn more and I love more. How does this happen? I've been thinking a lot lately about how grateful I am to his mom too... birthing him, loving him, raising him, teaching him to the man he is. I just love both of them.

xo

5/24//

choice and accountability
plan of salvation
our savior, his perfect example + the atonement
scripture study

these were the themes that stood out most to me in our three hour block today. i'm grateful that these are central to my religion and how much they impact me. 1 pm church is hard on our babies, and hard on us. after sacrament, jer took amelia to nursery while i rocked sleeping scarlett. our bishop approached us, asked how i was feeling, and i about lost it on him, he certainly seems to always know exactly what we collectively and individually need, and i'm so grateful he serves us.

in other news, i got a new calling today!

and i fell asleep while jer and the girls were playing around and woke up to an empty house. it's refreshing and spooky at the same time. they'll be back soon, but i'll admit it's nice to have a little time to myself to finish complete sentences in my head.

happy sabbath! xo

5/17//

Ward conference this sunday, and the bishop felt it necessary to remind us to do our daily prayer + scripture study. I was in the mother's room nursing, and was just thinking about how much a bishop loves his congregation. I've felt so much love and revelation from each bishop I've had, and I am so grateful for that.

Jeremy took Scarlett for the third hour, so I took notes in Relief Society... imagine that! Our stake RS president start us off with a quote from Sister Julie B. Beck, "the ability to qualify for, receive, act on personal revelation is the single most important skill that can be acquired in this life." She asked us, like we were asked by Elder Klebingat in General Conference, how would you feel if you had an interview with the savior in one minute? Immediately, I thought... oh no! This is not a good time... But I'm relieved that I was reminded that Christ would take us as imperfect as we are, and love us and advocate for us anyway. I need Him, in my most struggling times, I need Him!

Approaching the Throne of God with Confidence:
1. Take responsibility for you own spiritual well being. It truly isn't anyone else's responsibility or fault.

2. Take responsibility for your physical well being. Our body is the vessel God gave us to house our spirits. President Hansen from our stake presidency added that President Packer had said, "the word of wisdom is the key to personal revelation".

3. Embrace voluntary, whole-heart obedience as part of your life. You cannot love God if you don't love His commandments. Our visiting teaching messages this year are focused on the attributes of Christ, and the first attribute in January was obedience. Christ truly did everything that his Father ask of him. Personally, how can I not give in and fulfill my callings? I loved this quote by Sister Beck (again) that was shared, "through relief society and visiting teaching, we practice being disciples of Christ. We learn what He would have us learn, we do what what He would have us do, and we become what He would have us become."

4. Repent thoroughly and quickly. Embrace the atonement, do it daily, make it a lifestyle choice. From President Ezra Taft Benson, "The Lord works from the inside out. The world works from the outside in. The world would take the people out of the slums. Christ takes the slums out of the people, and then they take themselves out of the slums. The world would mold men by changing their environment. The world would shape human behavior, but Christ can change human nature... Yes, Christ changes men, and changed men can change the world."

5. Forgive. As quickly as you'd seek grace, give it. Don't hold grudges, don't bear ill feelings. The Savior seeks the mend our hearts + heal our souls, His grace is sufficient.

6. Accept trials, setbacks, surprises as part of your mortal experience. Partner with Christ to endure to the end; choose to place Him in the center of your life. Follow His teachings, walk in His footsteps.

President Hansen closed by suggesting we be tenacious in inviting the spirit of Heavenly Father into our homes. 

Boy, was I spiritually fed. It seems that I always am when I'm having a hard week. I feel rejuvenated and inspired to: make it a routine to shower + read 10 verses every night, prepare family home evening every.week, somehow squeeze exercising into the whole deal, go to Heavenly Father when times are hard (not just when they are really really really hard), forgive and apologize too, and trust in the Lord. Come what may!!

Also, our opening song was "As sisters in Zion" I love the second verse: the errand of angels is given to women; and this is a gift that, as sisters, we claim: to do whatsoever is gentle and human, to cheer and to bless in humanity's name.

Hope you had a wonderful Sabbath!
xo

mother's day

on mother's day, i posted:
"this divine, sacred calling that is so, so hard has me in tears + on my knees almost every single day. i'm so grateful + overwhelmed to be trusted with this responsibility to grow and nurture these little spirits. last mother's day, we found out that scarlett was on her way, my arms have never been more full, but neither has my heart.

happy mother's day to you, regardless of what stage of motherhood you're in! thank you for inspiring me to love more + give more!"


what else is there to say? i've given every ounce of myself to this calling, and so has all my examples of motherhood. i dare say there's nothing more powerful than a mother's love.

xo

st. george 2015-- day 3

we have the exact same picture with Amelia somewhere...

oh, sorry bud!

We visited Sand Hollow in the morning and promised we'd be back with boats next time (or maybe just a canoe) (...or maybe just our swimming suits)... We love that gorgeous place, Jeremy always talks about how clear the water is! Of course, we couldn't leave without visiting our favorite Trading Post (?). Jeremy and I have came here and fed carrots to the animals every single time we've visited St. George, it's a little pathetic that we can't remember the name! Like everything else, the experience is so much better with children. Amelia got to choose three "special beads" to make a souvenir necklace with (she held her box the whole way home).

And that's a wrap! I got a Costa Vida salad for the road (this is where I found out they give you a full sized serving of tomatillo dressing, instead of the half-sized mini cups like at Cafe Rio. I'm all about the biggest bang for my buck, so sorry Cafe Rio!) Traveling with little ones is quite frazzling, I'm hoping to remember for the future. Breastfed babes mean you stop whenever a feeding needs to happen, potty breaks for the toddler, making sure everyone is hydrated enough, nobody sleeps, etc. etc. Was it worth it? Yes, oh yes, but we were definitely ready to be home when we arrived!


Also, I loved putting pictures of Amelia + Scarlett side by side at the same age to compare their sweet faces. This is the second time we've traveled to St. George with a 4 month old!

Scarlett on the left + Amelia on the right (2012)

Amelia on the left (2012) + Scarlett on the right

xo

st. george 2015-- day 2

girls girls, can we not just smile all together for the same picture? 

all my favorite family photos are selfies in front of this mirror in our hotel room... everyone looking and smiling!

Oh man, day 2 was long. Scarlett was sooooo sad all night long and let us know it, too! When I finally got her to sleep at 4 in the am in between my legs, I didn't move her, not even to cover myself with a blanket. Jeremy got in Amelia's queen bed (not that she needed that all to herself, anyway), and he totally woke up soaked in little girl urine! Bummer! All we (or maybe just I) could do at this point was laugh.

We drove to Zion's and hiked to Lower Emerald Pool. Amelia  l o v e d  the waterfall, and Scarlett napped through most of it. We rode the shuttle down to a secluded picnic area and had our veggies and sandwiches! (Amelia would sob every time we had to get off the bus, so sad). The girls napped on the drive home, and then the three of us hit the pool again to give Daddy a nap. Two babies at the pool by myself is a little nuts, luckily we live by a splash pool and not a real pool...

Off to the Dinosaur Museum, which honestly was kind of a bust. Jeremy was telling me the one at the Thankgiving Point was way more fun and cute, and Amelia would have loved it (turns out he took someone else on a date there once upon a time, busted!). Iggy's for dinner, it was so lovely outside and so perfect that nobody else had to hear our loud kids!

Bath time with Amelia's crazy long hair, bedtime for Scarlett babe, and we ended the night by finishing Mulan. Amelia still talks about her, Mushu, her friends, and "the bad guys" I think she liked the movie a little bit. :)